I had just gotten to work and turned my computer on. As I was about to sit down my phone lit up and I saw their number. Family Core's number. I thought to myself well that is weird we just saw her Thursday maybe she needs more information from us?
As I answered she said, "Hi Samantha." I'm calling for two reasons. One being I mailed off your release form so hopefully I will get your records soon. The other reason I am calling is because of a possible placement. I think my heart probably skipped a beat. Could this really be happening? A phone call already? We didn't expect to be getting calls about children until about a month or month and a half. Then she said those words...newborn...and my heart got even more excited. Then she said the words fetal alcohol syndrome and brain damage and my heart sank. She went on to explain a little more but I already knew my heart was telling me no...that this probably isn't something we're ready for right now. I talked with Aaron and he agreed. We felt like it wouldn't be a good idea to take something like that on as first-time parents. Also, just not knowing a whole lot about what her future would be like due to the extent of her needs. I do realize that she needs a good home and deserves parents we just didn't think we were the ones to fill that role for her.
It was hard to make that phone call back and say that at this time we don't think we could do it. But, I know the Lord is in control and He will provide us the right child in His time.
Showing posts with label foster care. Show all posts
Showing posts with label foster care. Show all posts
Monday, February 20, 2012
Switched Agencies
After much praying and discussion we have decided to switch agencies. In some ways this was really tough and in other ways it wasn't.
The new agency is called Family Core. They handle domestic adoptions but also do foster care. We are on the foster care side of things. The primary goal with this is reunification but if that is not possible we could potentially adopt the child.
Foster care was not something I would have considered a year ago. But, as we were going through the waiting phase of adopting through ABC we started thinking about it and discussing it. Our plan was to adopt from ABC first and then do foster care later on down the road. We figured while we waited we could at least get the training and classes done ahead of time while we don't have a lot of other responsibilites. As we were going to the classes God started to change our hearts. It wasn't all about bringing home this brand new newborn that would be all ours. During the classes we learned how much these children need good families, whether it be on a temporary basis or if the Lord wills, a permanent basis. After each session our desire to do this grew more and more.
Once we talked with Family Core and they answered all our questions we set up a meeting with them. A licensing worker came to the house and talked to us briefly. We signed a release form so she could get our home study from ABC. She said once she got that and some other forms we had to fill out she would send it off to DCFS. After DCFS does their part we should get a full fledged foster care license in the mail!!!!! We are definitely excited about it!
We are praying that we would bring honor and glory to God through this. That His will would be done and that we would trust His plan for our family.
The new agency is called Family Core. They handle domestic adoptions but also do foster care. We are on the foster care side of things. The primary goal with this is reunification but if that is not possible we could potentially adopt the child.
Foster care was not something I would have considered a year ago. But, as we were going through the waiting phase of adopting through ABC we started thinking about it and discussing it. Our plan was to adopt from ABC first and then do foster care later on down the road. We figured while we waited we could at least get the training and classes done ahead of time while we don't have a lot of other responsibilites. As we were going to the classes God started to change our hearts. It wasn't all about bringing home this brand new newborn that would be all ours. During the classes we learned how much these children need good families, whether it be on a temporary basis or if the Lord wills, a permanent basis. After each session our desire to do this grew more and more.
Once we talked with Family Core and they answered all our questions we set up a meeting with them. A licensing worker came to the house and talked to us briefly. We signed a release form so she could get our home study from ABC. She said once she got that and some other forms we had to fill out she would send it off to DCFS. After DCFS does their part we should get a full fledged foster care license in the mail!!!!! We are definitely excited about it!
We are praying that we would bring honor and glory to God through this. That His will would be done and that we would trust His plan for our family.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Class-less Saturday
Tomorrow is basically the first class-less Saturday since December 3rd. We have finally completed our PRIDE training and Educational Advocacy training. The classes were very informative but I have to say I'm glad to be done with them as they were starting to get exhausting.
Unfortunately Aaron has to work tomorrow so poor guy doesn't even get to sleep in. I'm thinking waking up around 8:30 or 9:00 and coming straight to the couch and relaxing a little more! So not to much on my agenda before Aaron gets home from work!
Hope everyone has a great weekend!
Unfortunately Aaron has to work tomorrow so poor guy doesn't even get to sleep in. I'm thinking waking up around 8:30 or 9:00 and coming straight to the couch and relaxing a little more! So not to much on my agenda before Aaron gets home from work!
Hope everyone has a great weekend!
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Family Core Room Renovations
Remember a while back I posted about Project Sunshine? It is a project of The Forgotten Initiative which raises awareness about foster children. They were going around renovating the visiting rooms that chldren and their birthparents have their visits in. Before, the rooms were dull and boring with old toys and books with pages all ripped out of them. There was not many toys for them to play with. They just seemed cold and uninviting. They've gone around to different agencies in the Bloomington and Peoria area. Well here is a video of the volunteers working on the room renovations at Family Core. Family Core is the agency where we would try to get our foster license through. So, if we end up with foster children they would use these rooms to visit their birth family. When the video starts up and Scott (in the orange shirt) starts talking that is the room where we had our training classes in!
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Still Torn In Two Different Directions
In my previous post I said Aaron and I were thinking about possibly switching our license to a different agency and doing foster care.
There are so many thoughts and emotions running through my mind as we try to weigh the options. I really want to help these kids in the foster system but at the same time I so long for that child, my child(adopted or biological). I'm sure I've mentioned this before but being a mom is what I've always wanted to do. To say things haven't gone the way that I planned would be an understatement. Its been 3 years since we started "trying" to have kids. I would have never guessed that we would still be childless.
I've been thinking/praying/talking with Aaron about why to/why not to switch.
Here are some of the things we've been considering.
1.) Staying with ABC means a newborn baby that will be ours that isn't going to be reunited with their birth family.
A. However, we could get matched with a birthmom while she is only a few months pregnant and then once she goes into labor she can change her mind. If that is the case then we are back at square one again waiting to get matched.
2.) We could switch to foster care and get a placement of a child that then returns home and were back to being a childless couple again.
3.) We're 9 months into waiting with ABC. I know this doesn't mean we're X number of months away from getting a baby but it seems like were much closer than before.
4.) If we switch to foster care, Lord willing we could make such a difference in these kids' lives. There are a lot of people that foster that end up adopting the children but there are plenty of times they return home to their families. And, if their families are safe and stable they should return home.
I always had this vision in my head of when we would have kids. It was the pretty traditional view...get pregnant, buy all the cutesy baby stuff, have baby, adjust to life as new parents and then a while down the road start all over again. Until we decided we were done having kids. Do you see a problem with this? Its all my vision, my wants, my thoughts, my ways. Where was God's plan in all of my vision? Why hadn't I considered what He wanted for us? He knows whats best for us.
One day I'm leaning more towards foster care and the next day I lean more towards staying with ABC. However, I don't feel completely at peace with either decision. I know there isn't a rush to make a decision right away but I am struggling to know what path God is leading us down.
I think this is such a hard decision for many reasons. But I'll name a few. One being giving up the control of what "I" wanted/thought for a family. When we struggled with infertility it was so hard to have to give up the idea that we might never have biological children. We might never get that experience of a positive pregnancy test, baby registries, baby showers, nurseries that are gender specific (sounds stupid but I'm particular on that one) labor and bringing our biological child home from the hospital. God opened our hearts to adoption and I'm so glad He did, I can't imagine adoption not being a part of our lives but the waiting is definitely hard. I think this comes back to giving up control again. There is nothing I can do to make this happen. Its all out of our hands. All we can do is sit and wait and pray that God will give us strength to get through this and grow closer to Him through this. I do think He is accomplishing this and drawing us closer to Him as each day goes by. He's the one who orchestrates all this. He is teaching me so much and I'm so thankful for that. I never realized just how important prayer is and putting all things in His hands. Its so hard for me to not keep taking it back in my hands.
With adoption we would still get the experience of bringing home a new baby and putting together a nursery and some of those traditional things. So, to switch to foster care means me letting go of another thing that was so important to me. Foster care brings a lot of uncertainty. We wouldn't know if we should be prepared for a girl, boy, infant, 1.5 year old or 3 year old.
This is why I'm having such a hard time deciding to leave ABC. If we do, then we give up on that too. Which means we will never know if we will get to experience an infant. Its so hard because being a mom is what I've always wanted to do and I'm just not sure what God is wanting us to do right now.
I feel like if foster care wasn't in His plans He would've closed the door on us taking the classes, or during the classes we would've thought this is not something we want to take on. Instead, the classes made us all the more interested and wanting to do this. He showed us just how much they need loving, christian, stable families that are willing to fulfill the needs of these children. My heart wants to help these kids so bad. I want to protect them and care for them and pray that God would show Himself to them. Even if they were with us for a short time...what a ministry..to show them the love of Christ.
So, how do I feel torn in two completely different directions?
There are so many thoughts and emotions running through my mind as we try to weigh the options. I really want to help these kids in the foster system but at the same time I so long for that child, my child(adopted or biological). I'm sure I've mentioned this before but being a mom is what I've always wanted to do. To say things haven't gone the way that I planned would be an understatement. Its been 3 years since we started "trying" to have kids. I would have never guessed that we would still be childless.
I've been thinking/praying/talking with Aaron about why to/why not to switch.
Here are some of the things we've been considering.
1.) Staying with ABC means a newborn baby that will be ours that isn't going to be reunited with their birth family.
A. However, we could get matched with a birthmom while she is only a few months pregnant and then once she goes into labor she can change her mind. If that is the case then we are back at square one again waiting to get matched.
2.) We could switch to foster care and get a placement of a child that then returns home and were back to being a childless couple again.
3.) We're 9 months into waiting with ABC. I know this doesn't mean we're X number of months away from getting a baby but it seems like were much closer than before.
4.) If we switch to foster care, Lord willing we could make such a difference in these kids' lives. There are a lot of people that foster that end up adopting the children but there are plenty of times they return home to their families. And, if their families are safe and stable they should return home.
I always had this vision in my head of when we would have kids. It was the pretty traditional view...get pregnant, buy all the cutesy baby stuff, have baby, adjust to life as new parents and then a while down the road start all over again. Until we decided we were done having kids. Do you see a problem with this? Its all my vision, my wants, my thoughts, my ways. Where was God's plan in all of my vision? Why hadn't I considered what He wanted for us? He knows whats best for us.
One day I'm leaning more towards foster care and the next day I lean more towards staying with ABC. However, I don't feel completely at peace with either decision. I know there isn't a rush to make a decision right away but I am struggling to know what path God is leading us down.
I think this is such a hard decision for many reasons. But I'll name a few. One being giving up the control of what "I" wanted/thought for a family. When we struggled with infertility it was so hard to have to give up the idea that we might never have biological children. We might never get that experience of a positive pregnancy test, baby registries, baby showers, nurseries that are gender specific (sounds stupid but I'm particular on that one) labor and bringing our biological child home from the hospital. God opened our hearts to adoption and I'm so glad He did, I can't imagine adoption not being a part of our lives but the waiting is definitely hard. I think this comes back to giving up control again. There is nothing I can do to make this happen. Its all out of our hands. All we can do is sit and wait and pray that God will give us strength to get through this and grow closer to Him through this. I do think He is accomplishing this and drawing us closer to Him as each day goes by. He's the one who orchestrates all this. He is teaching me so much and I'm so thankful for that. I never realized just how important prayer is and putting all things in His hands. Its so hard for me to not keep taking it back in my hands.
With adoption we would still get the experience of bringing home a new baby and putting together a nursery and some of those traditional things. So, to switch to foster care means me letting go of another thing that was so important to me. Foster care brings a lot of uncertainty. We wouldn't know if we should be prepared for a girl, boy, infant, 1.5 year old or 3 year old.
This is why I'm having such a hard time deciding to leave ABC. If we do, then we give up on that too. Which means we will never know if we will get to experience an infant. Its so hard because being a mom is what I've always wanted to do and I'm just not sure what God is wanting us to do right now.
I feel like if foster care wasn't in His plans He would've closed the door on us taking the classes, or during the classes we would've thought this is not something we want to take on. Instead, the classes made us all the more interested and wanting to do this. He showed us just how much they need loving, christian, stable families that are willing to fulfill the needs of these children. My heart wants to help these kids so bad. I want to protect them and care for them and pray that God would show Himself to them. Even if they were with us for a short time...what a ministry..to show them the love of Christ.
So, how do I feel torn in two completely different directions?
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Should we stay...or go...
We've been going back and forth on adoption and foster care lately. We're not sure whether to stay with ABC (our current agency) or switch to a different agency and focus more on foster care.
We've been taking the foster pride training for the last 8 weeks. Our last session is this coming Saturday. I will definitely be glad to have my Saturdays back.
We never went into adoption thinking foster care. We figured we would adopt and then when we were ready for another one we would adopt again. An actual pregnancy is no longer a topic we discuss since we figure that is out the window, and I'm OK with that.
As we've been trekking along in our adoption wait, foster care started coming into our minds and in our discussions. We decided we would at least take the classes to get those done and then maybe after we adopt from ABC we would do foster care later on down the road.
I don't think I've posted much (if any) about our frustrations with our current agency. I won't explain the details but things seem to be going a little downhill and we're just not sure we are comfortable staying with them. Its not like very serious stuff just little frustrations along the way that keep building and building. We finally set up a meeting in December and spoke with our caseworker about our concerns. She seemed to understand our frustrations and was glad we let her know.
Today all of the ABC families got an email stating they are adding yet another person into the mix of people we will be going through with questions and things. Its been hard enough with communication when two of the ones there only work part time and now there is going to be another. So we have to keep three different people's schedules in our minds. Talk about continuity, or lack thereof
So, we've been considering transferring our license and focusing more on foster care. As we've been going through these classes our hearts have been changing (and breaking) for these children. These kids really need stable, loving and nurturing environments. Some of the stories we hear in class break my heart. We feel like we are in a spot to care for these kids. We do not have any children right now and soon I'll be staying home full time so they would have our undivided attention and we could make a difference in their lives and maybe even their birth family's lives
Yes, I know. Don't think I've forgotten or not considered the struggles that we would go through and the BIG possibility of them being reunited with their family. Yes we would get attached to these children I'm sure and then they might go back to their family. But, because something is hard does that mean we shouldn't try at all? If it was easy wouldn't there be more people out there fostering kids?
These children deserve parents to care for them and why would we not want to help fill that need?
So, we are tossing each idea around and just wishing we could come to a final decision but as of yet we haven't reached that. We've been praying that the Lord would guide us and lead us to the path He is wanting.
Back to our meeting in December with ABC. When we talked with our caseworker in December she said she really thinks it will happen for us and that we will get chosen. She said to give it another 6 months and at that time if we're not matched maybe reconsider the facilitator idea. We're not very big fans of the facilitator idea but it could give us a better chance of getting matched..but we still have concerns with this.
That is partly where my heart is pulling me to stick it out a few more months. But, the other part of my heart is saying we should help these kids.
To wrap it up...that is what has been going on lately. We are 9 months into our wait and taking it one day at a time.
We've been taking the foster pride training for the last 8 weeks. Our last session is this coming Saturday. I will definitely be glad to have my Saturdays back.
We never went into adoption thinking foster care. We figured we would adopt and then when we were ready for another one we would adopt again. An actual pregnancy is no longer a topic we discuss since we figure that is out the window, and I'm OK with that.
As we've been trekking along in our adoption wait, foster care started coming into our minds and in our discussions. We decided we would at least take the classes to get those done and then maybe after we adopt from ABC we would do foster care later on down the road.
I don't think I've posted much (if any) about our frustrations with our current agency. I won't explain the details but things seem to be going a little downhill and we're just not sure we are comfortable staying with them. Its not like very serious stuff just little frustrations along the way that keep building and building. We finally set up a meeting in December and spoke with our caseworker about our concerns. She seemed to understand our frustrations and was glad we let her know.
Today all of the ABC families got an email stating they are adding yet another person into the mix of people we will be going through with questions and things. Its been hard enough with communication when two of the ones there only work part time and now there is going to be another. So we have to keep three different people's schedules in our minds. Talk about continuity, or lack thereof
So, we've been considering transferring our license and focusing more on foster care. As we've been going through these classes our hearts have been changing (and breaking) for these children. These kids really need stable, loving and nurturing environments. Some of the stories we hear in class break my heart. We feel like we are in a spot to care for these kids. We do not have any children right now and soon I'll be staying home full time so they would have our undivided attention and we could make a difference in their lives and maybe even their birth family's lives
Yes, I know. Don't think I've forgotten or not considered the struggles that we would go through and the BIG possibility of them being reunited with their family. Yes we would get attached to these children I'm sure and then they might go back to their family. But, because something is hard does that mean we shouldn't try at all? If it was easy wouldn't there be more people out there fostering kids?
These children deserve parents to care for them and why would we not want to help fill that need?
So, we are tossing each idea around and just wishing we could come to a final decision but as of yet we haven't reached that. We've been praying that the Lord would guide us and lead us to the path He is wanting.
Back to our meeting in December with ABC. When we talked with our caseworker in December she said she really thinks it will happen for us and that we will get chosen. She said to give it another 6 months and at that time if we're not matched maybe reconsider the facilitator idea. We're not very big fans of the facilitator idea but it could give us a better chance of getting matched..but we still have concerns with this.
That is partly where my heart is pulling me to stick it out a few more months. But, the other part of my heart is saying we should help these kids.
To wrap it up...that is what has been going on lately. We are 9 months into our wait and taking it one day at a time.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Bags, Bags and more Bags...
I mentioned a few posts back about sewing drawstring bags to give to foster kids. Well here are a few pictures of some of the bags I've done. We had a foster class today and I was told that they had already used the bags I made for the kids! How cool is that.
This last one with the dinosaurs is my favorite one so far.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Project Sunshine
Happy Wednesday evening! No work tomorrow so I'm excited! I think we are actually supposed to get our first snow of the winter. I can't believe its January 11th and I wore short sleeves to work today. Crazy to not need a coat this time of year. However, I don't think it will last.
Anyways, I don't know if some of you listen to 91.5 WCIC? I've been hearing information about Project Sunshine and how it related to foster children and it peaked my interest. I went to 91.5's website and read about it.
There is an organization called The Forgotten Initiative which raises awareness for foster care agencies. They have lots of different projects but one is called Project Sunshine. They are going around to foster care agencies and renovating their waiting/visiting rooms. These children will have visits with their biological parents and family in these rooms. They want the rooms to feel warm and inviting and fun for the children. Before the renovations at other agencies the rooms were drab with old broken toys and now they look spectacular!
They are doing renovations to the waiting rooms at the Family Core agency in downtown Peoria. This is where our foster training classes are. If we do end up pursuing foster care in the future this is most likely the agency we would try to get our license through.
I don't know first hand the trauma and hardships these children go through since we are not foster parents but just talking about all these things in class makes my heart break for them. Some of the topics we discuss I never really thought they existed, at least not in this area. I'm so thankful for the family God gave me and that because of that family these are things I never had to go through or even think about. Which makes me want to help these kids even more. Maybe this is why pregnancy is not in God's plan for us. Maybe adoption and foster care is in His plan for us. I have a strong desire to help these kids I'm just not sure the timing of things. We talk about foster care being down the road a few years I just know that I want to help now. So, for now Aaron and I are planning on going shopping and getting some new toys and diapers, etc. for this project. And, I'll keep making some drawstring bags to help out.
I'm praying that these kids will feel all the love and care that went into these renovations, that God would show Himself to them and that they know they are not forgotten. I'm also praying that God would direct us as to what His plan is for us regarding foster care.
Here is a link to some info on Project Sunshine. Once you get to this page there is a list of donated items they are looking for. http://www.wcicfm.org/project-sunshine
Here is the link to The Forgotten Initiative http://www.theforgotteninitiative.org/
And here is the link to the lady's blog who is the founder of The Forgotten Initiative http://www.lifewithapersonalgod.blogspot.com/
Anyways, I don't know if some of you listen to 91.5 WCIC? I've been hearing information about Project Sunshine and how it related to foster children and it peaked my interest. I went to 91.5's website and read about it.
There is an organization called The Forgotten Initiative which raises awareness for foster care agencies. They have lots of different projects but one is called Project Sunshine. They are going around to foster care agencies and renovating their waiting/visiting rooms. These children will have visits with their biological parents and family in these rooms. They want the rooms to feel warm and inviting and fun for the children. Before the renovations at other agencies the rooms were drab with old broken toys and now they look spectacular!
They are doing renovations to the waiting rooms at the Family Core agency in downtown Peoria. This is where our foster training classes are. If we do end up pursuing foster care in the future this is most likely the agency we would try to get our license through.
I don't know first hand the trauma and hardships these children go through since we are not foster parents but just talking about all these things in class makes my heart break for them. Some of the topics we discuss I never really thought they existed, at least not in this area. I'm so thankful for the family God gave me and that because of that family these are things I never had to go through or even think about. Which makes me want to help these kids even more. Maybe this is why pregnancy is not in God's plan for us. Maybe adoption and foster care is in His plan for us. I have a strong desire to help these kids I'm just not sure the timing of things. We talk about foster care being down the road a few years I just know that I want to help now. So, for now Aaron and I are planning on going shopping and getting some new toys and diapers, etc. for this project. And, I'll keep making some drawstring bags to help out.
I'm praying that these kids will feel all the love and care that went into these renovations, that God would show Himself to them and that they know they are not forgotten. I'm also praying that God would direct us as to what His plan is for us regarding foster care.
Here is a link to some info on Project Sunshine. Once you get to this page there is a list of donated items they are looking for. http://www.wcicfm.org/project-sunshine
Here is the link to The Forgotten Initiative http://www.theforgotteninitiative.org/
And here is the link to the lady's blog who is the founder of The Forgotten Initiative http://www.lifewithapersonalgod.blogspot.com/
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Instead Of Trash Bags...
Close your eyes, well not really since your reading, but imagine for just a minute that you are a child who is being taken away from your parents. It could be in the middle of the night or you could be at school thinking it was like any other day. But, when school gets over a social worker picks you up.
Your scared, sad, worried, confused and wondering what is going to happen next.
A lot of times when these children are taken from their homes or school it is a stressful, traumatic event. Making sure your child has everything they need (special blanket, toy, etc.) when they go to a foster home is not the first thing on these parents minds. Many times an investigator, cop or social worker might be grabbing things. Although this is great that they are taking things that might be important to the child these items get thrown into a garbage bag. A garbage bag really? What do we typically associate a trash bag with? Garbage and things that are of no value or importance. Certainly not a favorite toy or blanket or a picture of mom and dad.
This brings me to my little project I'm working on. Actually one that one of our foster care trainers is doing but asking us if anyone wants to help. She said a child of hers (who was in foster care but is now adopted) asked her how she would feel if all of a sudden somebody comes and takes you away and throws your stuff in a garbage bag. That really made her think, so she is out to make drawstring bags to provide to agencies that they can put these kid's items in.
I went out and got some fabric and my grandma helped me make one today. I love knowing that the bag will go to a child who really needs it and knowing that their stuff isn't going to be put in a trash bag. I'm going to try to make some more as many as I think I can.
If anyone is interested in making any that would be great! It just takes a yard of fabric. It is kind of like a pillowcase but you make a casing so you can put a string of some kind so that you can pull it closed. Just like a drawstring bag. Our trainer says she uses clothesline twine for the string. I actually cut about 3 inches off of the fabric to make a string out of that so it would match. It turned out cute.
Here are a few pictures of one.
Your scared, sad, worried, confused and wondering what is going to happen next.
A lot of times when these children are taken from their homes or school it is a stressful, traumatic event. Making sure your child has everything they need (special blanket, toy, etc.) when they go to a foster home is not the first thing on these parents minds. Many times an investigator, cop or social worker might be grabbing things. Although this is great that they are taking things that might be important to the child these items get thrown into a garbage bag. A garbage bag really? What do we typically associate a trash bag with? Garbage and things that are of no value or importance. Certainly not a favorite toy or blanket or a picture of mom and dad.
This brings me to my little project I'm working on. Actually one that one of our foster care trainers is doing but asking us if anyone wants to help. She said a child of hers (who was in foster care but is now adopted) asked her how she would feel if all of a sudden somebody comes and takes you away and throws your stuff in a garbage bag. That really made her think, so she is out to make drawstring bags to provide to agencies that they can put these kid's items in.
I went out and got some fabric and my grandma helped me make one today. I love knowing that the bag will go to a child who really needs it and knowing that their stuff isn't going to be put in a trash bag. I'm going to try to make some more as many as I think I can.
If anyone is interested in making any that would be great! It just takes a yard of fabric. It is kind of like a pillowcase but you make a casing so you can put a string of some kind so that you can pull it closed. Just like a drawstring bag. Our trainer says she uses clothesline twine for the string. I actually cut about 3 inches off of the fabric to make a string out of that so it would match. It turned out cute.
Here are a few pictures of one.
Now how much better does that look compared to a garbage bag? I'm super excited to make some more. But, if anyone out there is interested in making any that would make me even more super excited. Just remember, its going to a REALLY good cause. Or, if you have any extra scrap fabric that would also be great!! Just contact me either way if you think you would be interested.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Missing Out
Teeny tiny fingers and toes. Little nose and ears and lips. I love little babies. Of course, who doesn't? I know its not all flowers and butterflies caring for a little one but I will take this any day over never having kids.
As we think about possibly adopting from foster care in the future I can't help but think about the fact that rarely are the children babies. It does happen on occasion but when it does of course there are lots of families that want a baby rather than an older child.
It seems like many children that you adopt from foster care would be toddlers or older. We are open to accepting toddlers but I think how hard it would be to miss out on all the baby stages that they go through. I want to be there for all of that.
I'm not sure domestic newborn adoption will be our best option with each subsequent child. Reasons for this include cost, waiting times, lots of families to "compete" with. Plus, these children in foster care need families that are willing to provide them a safe, nurturing and stable environment. Why not take a child out of the system?
Just something I've been thinking about lately.
As we think about possibly adopting from foster care in the future I can't help but think about the fact that rarely are the children babies. It does happen on occasion but when it does of course there are lots of families that want a baby rather than an older child.
It seems like many children that you adopt from foster care would be toddlers or older. We are open to accepting toddlers but I think how hard it would be to miss out on all the baby stages that they go through. I want to be there for all of that.
I'm not sure domestic newborn adoption will be our best option with each subsequent child. Reasons for this include cost, waiting times, lots of families to "compete" with. Plus, these children in foster care need families that are willing to provide them a safe, nurturing and stable environment. Why not take a child out of the system?
Just something I've been thinking about lately.
Monday, December 19, 2011
Permanence & Attachment
Well we've had 3 sessions of foster care training. We have a 3 week break due to the holidays but we have lots of reading and studying to do in the meantime.
So far I LOVE it. Its hard to contain my feelings on it but each session I leave feeling more and more interested in helping these kids and their families. Aaron is really enjoying it as well. Its kind of funny though because we watch little clips of movies or read short stories, and afterwards we have to share what we think about them. Aaron says its too much of talking about our feelings and emotions. I thought that was funny, but definitely a guy statement.
I'll give you a little insight into what we've learned so far from Sessions 2 and 3
Session 2
-Teamwork towards permanence- This is every member of the team (social worker, counselor, teacher, foster parent, birth parent, etc.) working towards creating permanence for the child.
-Permanence is defined as having a sense of one's past, having a legal and social status that comes from being a family member and having safe, nurturing relationships intended to last a lifetime.
-Two things to look at when trying to determine how to establish permanence for a child are "connections" and "continuity".
-Connections are referring to long term and ongoing relationships with people who have a lifetime commitment to the child. In most cases this is your parents, grandparents other family members. These connections provide a child with belonging and stability.
Continuity refers to the child's ability to understand and make connections between past, present and future.
The other thing we talked about was all the needs a parent provides a child. This is something I never really thought about. You think about your parents feeding you, clothing you, providing you with shelter. These are all physical needs. But there are also emotional needs, (advice, guidance, stability) social needs, (acceptable behaviors, how to form relationships with others) cultural needs (religion, values, beliefs, morals) and learning (school, helping with homework, life skills, definition of right and wrong)
Just talking about these really made me think. Really, it wasn't something I had thought about before. I guess what I'm trying to say is Aaron and I always took this for granted. Our parents did all these things for us and we didn't realize it growing up. I mean we did but we didn't. It wasn't something we thought about because we always had it. We just figured all parents did this for kids. But these kids that end up in foster care don't have that. For whatever reason the parent(s) couldn't provide for all those needs.Their parents might have provided physical needs and learning but not emotional and social needs.
Session 3-Attachment
One of our instructors said that this is her favorite session. So far, it is mine too.
-This one was about understanding physical, medical and emotional indicators of physical abuse, sexual abuse, neglect, maltreatment and how those affect attachment and a child's growth and development.
-Tips on how to build positive attachment with your foster child.
-How to handle the bad behaviors and explain this to other children in your own (if you have biological children or adopted children) Something that we wouldn't find acceptable behavior for our own children but that we have to handle differently due to what the foster child has been through.
One cool thing we did was draw a jigsaw puzzle. It had 8 pieces and inside each piece was a way to describe a child I guess. I'm not sure how to describe it. But for example the 8 pieces were chronological, appearance, intellectual, school, emotional, social, cultural and life. We had to put down the chronological age of the child and then put down how old we felt the child was in all the other areas. Kids with abuse or maltreatment might be 8 years old but look like they are 6 or act like they are 4 but have life experiences that are similar to an adult (witnessing drug use, domestic violence)
That is kind of a few points from those sessions. I am just really enjoying it. Its also great to hear the experiences of the other people in the class.
I'm really praying to see what God has in store for us with this. Just adopting from foster care or actually fostering. I'd like to do both but we'll see what happens.
On a side note I'm so thankful for our families (especially our parents) for providing us with all our needs all the time. We didn't know how good we had it. We want to do the same thing for our children and hopefully have an impact or influence on kids that might come into our home temporarily.
So far I LOVE it. Its hard to contain my feelings on it but each session I leave feeling more and more interested in helping these kids and their families. Aaron is really enjoying it as well. Its kind of funny though because we watch little clips of movies or read short stories, and afterwards we have to share what we think about them. Aaron says its too much of talking about our feelings and emotions. I thought that was funny, but definitely a guy statement.
I'll give you a little insight into what we've learned so far from Sessions 2 and 3
Session 2
-Teamwork towards permanence- This is every member of the team (social worker, counselor, teacher, foster parent, birth parent, etc.) working towards creating permanence for the child.
-Permanence is defined as having a sense of one's past, having a legal and social status that comes from being a family member and having safe, nurturing relationships intended to last a lifetime.
-Two things to look at when trying to determine how to establish permanence for a child are "connections" and "continuity".
-Connections are referring to long term and ongoing relationships with people who have a lifetime commitment to the child. In most cases this is your parents, grandparents other family members. These connections provide a child with belonging and stability.
Continuity refers to the child's ability to understand and make connections between past, present and future.
The other thing we talked about was all the needs a parent provides a child. This is something I never really thought about. You think about your parents feeding you, clothing you, providing you with shelter. These are all physical needs. But there are also emotional needs, (advice, guidance, stability) social needs, (acceptable behaviors, how to form relationships with others) cultural needs (religion, values, beliefs, morals) and learning (school, helping with homework, life skills, definition of right and wrong)
Just talking about these really made me think. Really, it wasn't something I had thought about before. I guess what I'm trying to say is Aaron and I always took this for granted. Our parents did all these things for us and we didn't realize it growing up. I mean we did but we didn't. It wasn't something we thought about because we always had it. We just figured all parents did this for kids. But these kids that end up in foster care don't have that. For whatever reason the parent(s) couldn't provide for all those needs.Their parents might have provided physical needs and learning but not emotional and social needs.
Session 3-Attachment
One of our instructors said that this is her favorite session. So far, it is mine too.
-This one was about understanding physical, medical and emotional indicators of physical abuse, sexual abuse, neglect, maltreatment and how those affect attachment and a child's growth and development.
-Tips on how to build positive attachment with your foster child.
-How to handle the bad behaviors and explain this to other children in your own (if you have biological children or adopted children) Something that we wouldn't find acceptable behavior for our own children but that we have to handle differently due to what the foster child has been through.
One cool thing we did was draw a jigsaw puzzle. It had 8 pieces and inside each piece was a way to describe a child I guess. I'm not sure how to describe it. But for example the 8 pieces were chronological, appearance, intellectual, school, emotional, social, cultural and life. We had to put down the chronological age of the child and then put down how old we felt the child was in all the other areas. Kids with abuse or maltreatment might be 8 years old but look like they are 6 or act like they are 4 but have life experiences that are similar to an adult (witnessing drug use, domestic violence)
That is kind of a few points from those sessions. I am just really enjoying it. Its also great to hear the experiences of the other people in the class.
I'm really praying to see what God has in store for us with this. Just adopting from foster care or actually fostering. I'd like to do both but we'll see what happens.
On a side note I'm so thankful for our families (especially our parents) for providing us with all our needs all the time. We didn't know how good we had it. We want to do the same thing for our children and hopefully have an impact or influence on kids that might come into our home temporarily.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Foster Training
We had our first foster care training session today. The first of 9. It wasn't too bad actually. We walked in not knowing what to expect at all. Since it was the first day it was a lot of intro stuff. There were so many people registered for the class they ended up separating us into two classes. I'm not sure about the other class but we were the only ones in ours who didn't have any kids.
The more I think about foster care the more I want to be involved with it. However, we don't think fostering right now is the best idea. Its something so totally different than raising a biological child. Most times these children have some type of special need. Whether it be a medical issue, abuse or neglect it requires more knowledge and resources than raising a biological child. With us not having any experience raising children we're not sure jumping into foster care would be the best for the child(ren) or for us. We'll continue to evaluate this as we go through each session of the training. Right now we're leaning towards adopting first and then later on down the road either adopt a child from the foster system or do foster care.
One thing they brought up that had never occured to us was that your not just taking in a child temporarily. You are also helping to support their birth family so the child can be reunited with them.
Overall, it went really well. On a side note a lady in the class ended up passing out due to low blood sugar. We were taking a 15 minute break and I was walking back from the bathroom and I could see two guys trying to get her on a chair. I thought her leg had just given out but then they were saying she was diabetic. In a matter of 30 seconds she was unresponsive and breathing weird. After a few pieces of chocolate and some orange juice she was responsive again but they still took her to the ER. Crazy thing is we were located in a building that was connected to the hospital and after calling 911 it took over 5 minutes for someone to get there to help.
They didn't let us go home without lots of paperwork and reading material. I provided a picture below.
The more I think about foster care the more I want to be involved with it. However, we don't think fostering right now is the best idea. Its something so totally different than raising a biological child. Most times these children have some type of special need. Whether it be a medical issue, abuse or neglect it requires more knowledge and resources than raising a biological child. With us not having any experience raising children we're not sure jumping into foster care would be the best for the child(ren) or for us. We'll continue to evaluate this as we go through each session of the training. Right now we're leaning towards adopting first and then later on down the road either adopt a child from the foster system or do foster care.
One thing they brought up that had never occured to us was that your not just taking in a child temporarily. You are also helping to support their birth family so the child can be reunited with them.
Overall, it went really well. On a side note a lady in the class ended up passing out due to low blood sugar. We were taking a 15 minute break and I was walking back from the bathroom and I could see two guys trying to get her on a chair. I thought her leg had just given out but then they were saying she was diabetic. In a matter of 30 seconds she was unresponsive and breathing weird. After a few pieces of chocolate and some orange juice she was responsive again but they still took her to the ER. Crazy thing is we were located in a building that was connected to the hospital and after calling 911 it took over 5 minutes for someone to get there to help.
They didn't let us go home without lots of paperwork and reading material. I provided a picture below.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
We're In
We found out this week that we are officially enrolled in the Foster Care-PRIDE training which starts December 3rd. There is a long frustrating story that goes with us actually getting into the class but you guys would probably find it boring. So, I'll spare you the details. We're just happy we got in and are looking forward to what we will be learning.
Aaron and I are hosting Thanksgiving tomorrow so I spent the last couple days baking 3 batches of rolls, peeling and mashing 10 pounds of potatoes, baking chocolate chip cookies and mixing up LOTS of baked beans. Thanks to Aaron the house is clean and we are ready to go. This will be the largest amount of people we've ever hosted for some kind of a family event.
Hope you all have a great Thanksgiving!
Aaron and I are hosting Thanksgiving tomorrow so I spent the last couple days baking 3 batches of rolls, peeling and mashing 10 pounds of potatoes, baking chocolate chip cookies and mixing up LOTS of baked beans. Thanks to Aaron the house is clean and we are ready to go. This will be the largest amount of people we've ever hosted for some kind of a family event.
Hope you all have a great Thanksgiving!
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