I was trying to think of having activities planned so that way I would keep them busy with things but that didn't end up happening and I had nothing planned. It worked out ok though. On Mondays they visit with their Mom so we ran a couple errands after they got done with daycare and then there wasn't much time left before their visit. On Wednesday the boys had a play date with a new friend. On Thursday Cruiser had a follow up appointment for his eye surgery. Then on Friday after daycare, my Mom, the boys and I headed to Bloomington to see my grandparents. We headed to a playground for a little bit so they could burn some energy and then went to my grandparents for a while and met up with my Dad and Aaron for dinner. At the end of the week they were exhausted.
Cruiser's first soccer game is tomorrow night and he had his first practice yesterday. He was excited but I don't think he quite understands how to play. He kind of just ran around with his hands in his pockets. We'll have to do some practicing with him. The coach said at this age they usually just run around anyways! He's looking forward to his game tomorrow, hopefully with the rain it doesn't get canceled.
So this might not be the best picture but the boy's Early Childhood teacher sent this book home for us to read over Spring Break. It is such a cute book and the boys loved it. They wanted me to read it again. I went to look online to maybe buy it but on Amazon a new one cost $115 and on Ebay it was $50. WHAT??? It must be a pretty rare book. Guess I'll have to try and find one at a Garage Sale or just keep looking on Ebay.
The other part of this blog post is a big shame on me as a parent and an example to these kids. We've realized how careful you have to be around kids. What you say/do how you react to things that upset you or changes in your schedule that can be annoying and frustrating. They are very observant and are very quick to call us out on things. Needless to say there have been many times that I look back on something and think ugh..what did I just teach them?
Here are a few examples of what I am talking about. The words "stupid" and "dumb" Obviously Aaron and I don't go around calling people these names but just saying, "Oh that seems stupid or that is dumb" They pick up on it and say, "Oh Mommy or Oh Daddy you shouldn't say that." Trying to explain the difference between using the words in a different context doesn't seem to make sense to them.
Another example would be the way I react to things. I remember in our foster care Trauma Training something came up and we had to change something around and one of the trainers said, "Oh, We're foster parents so we're flexible." Boy is that ever true. Well I am learning to TRY and be more flexible. Things happen..court gets continued, you have your monthly home visit set up (so the house is all clean and put together) and caseworker has to cancel or bio dad shows up out of nowhere and we drop everything and run to have a visit, or a case aid is sick so visit with Mom is canceled. I realize these things happen and can't be helped sometimes. But, I can change the way I react to them. The boys see my reactions and sometimes I can't look back on it and say...wow I handled that well.
Back a month or so ago the boys were at therapy (which they go to related to the trauma they've experienced) and I got a phone call from the agency that Dad is here so bring boys now he wants to have a visit. Excuse me, what??? We haven't seen Dad for four months and you are pulling the kids from therapy to traumatize them more? This is crazy. I knocked on the therapist's door and said, "We have to go their Dad is here." She could tell I was aggravated by it and we got out to the van and the boys were asking me what was going on. I'm almost positive they could tell I wasn't thrilled that we were making a spontaneous trip to the agency to see their Dad. I try to never say anything negative about their parents but I think they are smart enough to know I wasn't happy about the change in schedule. I got to thinking about it later and how I could have reacted differently and taught them that changes aren't so bad. The more they see me upset and frazzled or losing my patience the more it upsets them or teaches them to act that way. Another thing that happened was just this past week Cruiser was having some behavior issues and got sent to his room. This had been a common theme for the week and I was fed up with it. I remember Aaron and I going in and talking to him and when we walked out I shut the door kind of hard. I thought about it after I did it that it wasn't the best idea but justified myself by saying that I've been dealing with his rotten behavior all week.
Well it was sometime this weekend he got sent to his room for something. He walked off down the hallway, got to his room and slammed the door. OUCH...guess where he learned that from? So I had to explain to him that we can't slam doors even when we are mad and also explain that I was wrong in doing that earlier in the week. They are teaching me so much, more like exposing my weaknesses and sins. Impatience, selfishness, lack of trust in the One who has control over all things.
Here is to a better week!
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