Smarter Than We Think

Recently I had ordered some learning activity things to work on with the boys. I might have already posted something about it but if not its called "Carol's Cutting Edge". She has lots of different games regarding the alphabet, numbers, colors, shapes and more! Once you order she cuts it all out and laminates it. I was very pleased with it! Looks very nice and its so great that its already laminated.

Well when my order came I was missing just a couple pieces of the snowman alphabet that when she sent those pieces she sent me a couple free things. One of them was a frog addition/subtraction game. I figured the boys aren't ready for something like that yet but I'll go ahead and store it with the other ones I had ordered.

I had gone downstairs the other day for laundry and looked in the playroom and saw the frog game laid out on the floor. I walked over to pick it up and was surprised at what I saw.

I'm not sure they have ever done any thing with adding/subtracting. I asked Aaron if he helped them and he said no. I'm thinking this just happened. The one with the 3 I think they just matched but the others I'm still baffled on. Maybe they are smarter than we think! I realize the bottom one is wrong it was still funny though!

Here is the link to the lady's website if you want to check it out.

http://www.snaggedinmyweb.com/alphabet-games.html

Some of what I ordered was the snowman abc, candy corn abc, shapes and colors, ladybugs and pattern stars. The good thing is I can break the games up in little bits. Since the boys have a hard time staying focused for more than a few minutes we do them in spurts.

Their Early Childhood teacher taught me something cool involving dice. Over Spring Break she sent them home with a square box that she had put dots on to make it look like a dice. The boys would roll it then they have to count the dots and do that number of an activity (jumping jacks, laps, push ups, punches, etc).

They love it! So I went to Walmart and bought those fuzzy dice. Put one in the car for when we might need it (waiting for a table at a restaurant, Daddy shopping for something, etc) and the other one in the house. So sometimes we'll work on one of those learning activities then take a break and play with the dice.

Spring Break, The Biggest Sandwich Ever And Shame On Me

The boys have been on Spring Break for the past week. I have to admit I was a little lot not looking forward to it. They desperately want my attention 24/7 when they are around me and it can get very frustrating. I've said from the beginning (back in August) that its like they don't know how to play with toys or something. They would much rather spin around with a blanket, jump over blankets, run with a laundry basket all while wanting me to watch them for hours on end or climb all over me.

I was trying to think of having activities planned so that way I would keep them busy with things but that didn't end up happening and I had nothing planned. It worked out ok though. On Mondays they visit with their Mom so we ran a couple errands after they got done with daycare and then there wasn't much time left before their visit. On Wednesday the boys had a play date with a new friend. On Thursday Cruiser had a follow up appointment for his eye surgery. Then on Friday after daycare, my Mom, the boys and I headed to Bloomington to see my grandparents. We headed to a playground for a little bit so they could burn some energy and then went to my grandparents for a while and met up with my Dad and Aaron for dinner. At the end of the week they were exhausted.

Cruiser's first soccer game is tomorrow night and he had his first practice yesterday. He was excited but I don't think he quite understands how to play. He kind of just ran around with his hands in his pockets. We'll have to do some practicing with him. The coach said at this age they usually just run around anyways! He's looking forward to his game tomorrow, hopefully with the rain it doesn't get canceled.

 

So this might not be the best picture but the boy's Early Childhood teacher sent this book home for us to read over Spring Break. It is such a cute book and the boys loved it. They wanted me to read it again. I went to look online to maybe buy it but on Amazon a new one cost $115 and on Ebay it was $50. WHAT??? It must be a pretty rare book. Guess I'll have to try and find one at a Garage Sale or just keep looking on Ebay.

 

The other part of this blog post is a big shame on me as a parent and an example to these kids. We've realized how careful you have to be around kids. What you say/do how you react to things that upset you or changes in your schedule that can be annoying and frustrating. They are very observant and are very quick to call us out on things. Needless to say there have been many times that I look back on something and think ugh..what did I just teach them?

 

Here are a few examples of what I am talking about. The words "stupid" and "dumb" Obviously Aaron and I don't go around calling people these names but just saying, "Oh that seems stupid or that is dumb" They pick up on it and say, "Oh Mommy or Oh Daddy you shouldn't say that." Trying to explain the difference between using the words in a different context doesn't seem to make sense to them.

 

Another example would be the way I react to things. I remember in our foster care Trauma Training something came up and we had to change something around and one of the trainers said, "Oh, We're foster parents so we're flexible." Boy is that ever true. Well I am learning to TRY and be more flexible. Things happen..court gets continued, you have your monthly home visit set up (so the house is all clean and put together) and caseworker has to cancel or bio dad shows up out of nowhere and we drop everything and run to have a visit, or a case aid is sick so visit with Mom is canceled. I realize these things happen and can't be helped sometimes. But, I can change the way I react to them. The boys see my reactions and sometimes I can't look back on it and say...wow I handled that well.

 

Back a month or so ago the boys were at therapy (which they go to related to the trauma they've experienced) and I got a phone call from the agency that Dad is here so bring boys now he wants to have a visit. Excuse me, what??? We haven't seen Dad for four months and you are pulling the kids from therapy to traumatize them more? This is crazy.  I knocked on the therapist's door and said, "We have to go their Dad is here." She could tell I was aggravated by it and we got out to the van and the boys were asking me what was going on. I'm almost positive they could tell I wasn't thrilled that we were making a spontaneous trip to the agency to see their Dad. I try to never say anything negative about their parents but I think they are smart enough to know I wasn't happy about the change in schedule. I got to thinking about it later and how I could have reacted differently and taught them that changes aren't so bad. The more they see me upset and frazzled or losing my patience the more it upsets them or teaches them to act that way. Another thing that happened was just this past week Cruiser was having some behavior issues and got sent to his room. This had been a common theme for the week and I was fed up with it. I remember Aaron and I going in and talking to him and when we walked out I shut the door kind of hard. I thought about it after I did it that it wasn't the best idea but justified myself by saying that I've been dealing with his rotten behavior all week.  

 

Well it was sometime this weekend he got sent to his room for something. He walked off down the hallway, got to his room and slammed the door. OUCH...guess where he learned that from? So I had to explain to him that we can't slam doors even when we are mad and also explain that I was wrong in doing that earlier in the week. They are teaching me so much, more like exposing my weaknesses and sins. Impatience, selfishness, lack of trust in the One who has control over all things.

 

Here is to a better week!

 

 

Sweet Moments

Don't you just love those sweet little moments you have with your kids...moments you want to bottle up and open when the kids aren't so sweet and angelic looking?

Just a couple from the boys recently.

Putting Bruiser to bed and getting ready to say our prayers...

Bruiser: "Let's talk about God."
Aaron: "Who did God send to die for us?"
Bruiser: "Jesus."
Aaron: "What did he die for?"
Bruiser: "Our sins...on the cross"
Aaron: "How do we please God?"
Bruiser: "Uhhh...Let's talk about God."  (Needless to say he didn't have an answer for that one)

Crazy kid..I think he was mainly trying to get out of going to bed but it seems like he is listening a little bit.

So we're planning on getting Cruiser registered for soccer for this spring. We went up to the local sports store to get some shin guards and cleats. When I opened up the box he said. "WHOA!!!" He thought it was so cool. He was running all over the store and sliding on the floor. He loved putting the shin guards on! Thankfully I used to work there so it was ok they were being crazy.

When we left the store and we were heading to Walmart Cruiser started asking me about soccer.

Cruiser: "When I have a game are you going to cheer for me?"
Sammy: "Of course we will."
Cruiser: "Who is going to be there?"
Sammy: "Well me, Daddy, Bruiser...
Cruiser: "Jim and Barb and Mark and Barb?"
Sammy: "Yea I'm sure they will be there too to watch you."
Cruiser: "Can you cheer huper (can't say his s's) duper loud!!"

Everynight before we head to bed I go check on the boys make sure they are ok.

One night I walked in Cruiser's room and he kind of stirred around and woke up and looked up at me. I said, "Its ok, go back to sleep I'm just checking on you." He said, "Checking on me?" (with a confused look on his face) I said, "Yes every night before Dad and I head to bed I come in and check on you and your brother." He just smiled and rolled back over.

Love them!

Jan's Meat And Cheese

Looking for a quick easy meal? A family we go to church with had us over for dinner before and made this and it was so good! It is very easy to make and the kids love it! They usually eat it up really well!

I figured I would post the recipe on here if anybody wanted it! This isn't her exact recipe but it should be pretty close.

1.5 pounds ground beef (4 of us)
16 oz Velveeta cheese (cut into cubes)
Half of a (12oz) jar of Pace Picante Sauce (I use mild version). We sometimes use a little less than half of the jar...this can be based on how you want it!

Brown the beef and then add cheese...stir until it is all melted in. Then pour in the Picante sauce and stir until mixed in well. Continue stirring so it doesn't burn. Its basically ready once everything is mixed in and melted. If it seems too thick add a little milk.

Serve with Tostito chips, baked potato, mashed potatoes...whatever you feel like. The boys love the Tostito scoop chips..perfect for little hands!

Hope you like it as much as we do!

Shedd Aquarium

A few weekends ago the kids and Aaron and I went up to Shedd's Aquarium for a day trip! We were feeling like we had been stuck inside for so long we wanted to get out and do something. We decided we would head up to Shedd's and then go to The Cheesecake Factory after.

The boys generally don't like to travel for periods of time but this day they did pretty good! We had gotten one of those Nabi kid tablets and so they enjoyed that. I had picked up a few Redbox movies so that also helped. They even slept just a little bit.

As we got to Shedd's Aaron was driving around to find a parking spot. We were going in circles to try and find one. As Aaron was parking I had reached back and asked Cruiser to hand me the tablet so I could put it away. I had asked him a couple times and he wouldn't give it to me. I turned around and said, "Cruiser(actually said his real name) give me the tablet." I realized he had a weird look on his  face and he was just staring at me. I said, "Come on give it to me now." He still wouldn't move so I moved his coat out of the way to grab it and when I did I saw he had thrown up on his shirt and pants. I said, "What happened?" He said, "Daddy going to fast in circles." Poor guy got car sick looking at the tablet and the van going in circles to park.

I was thinking oh man we haven't even made it in the front door and one of the kids has throw up all over him. I was thinking we would just have to wipe it off and he would have to deal with it. Aaron said he had put extra pants in the car. I was thinking what is he talking about because I didn't set out extra pants to put in the car. Turns out I had washed a pair of jeans that were too small for the other kid to wear anymore and I had stuck them by the stairs to get put away in the storage room. Aaron saw those jeans and thought they were extra pants so he stuck them in the van! I'm so glad he did because we were able to take the pants off of Bruiser, put them on Cruiser and then put the jeans on Bruiser. I'm learning how to improvise more with kids!

Once we finally got into Shedd's we headed to the bathroom. As Aaron and Bruiser were walking back I noticed Bruiser was talking weird. I said to Aaron, "Did he poop his pants?" Aaron said, "No he peed on them." I only thought he had peed a little bit because I just saw a little spot on the front of the jeans so I was like ok whatever and we started walking through the aquarium. We headed the the live aquatic show a little later and Bruiser was sitting on my lap. When he got off to sit in his own spot I noticed my pants were wet. I asked Aaron, "Why are my pants wet?" Aaron says, "I told you he peed on his pants." UGH....I had misunderstood Aaron when he told me earlier. I thought he just got a little spot on his jeans. I guess he didn't get his jeans pulled all the way down so when he peed some of it shot out on his jeans....boys I guess...So now Cruiser had puke on his shirt, Bruiser had pee on his pants and I had pee on my pants. As the aquatic show went on Bruiser kept taking his shoe off. I had put it back on 3 times and the 4th time I went to grab his foot to put it back on he had muddy slime all over his sock. He was sticking it down between where the concrete came together for the seat and where your feet went. Seriously...what is wrong with these kids today. I threw his sock away so he ended up wearing jeans that were too short and only one foot had a sock on it.

Life with kids is way more interesting.

They did seem to enjoy Shedd's but I think they did get bored after awhile.

However, The Cheesecake Factory was AMAZING! I love that place! Such good food! I wish we had one around here. After all that it might have been easier to stay home!

Day Trips Then And Now

A friend of mine did a blog post recently about ski trips then (before kids) and now (after kids). I figured I would take this idea and do a post on day trips before the boys and day trips now with the boys.

Then... we got up early got ready, jumped in the car and left.

Now... we get up extra super early...get ourselves ready and then get them ready....pack wipes, paper towels, book bag with things to entertain them, snacks, DVD player, Kleenex..clearly it takes more "stuff" with kids.

Then...we strolled around leisurely only worrying about ourselves.

Now...We have to be constantly vigilant that we keep two aimless wandering kids from getting out of our sight, running into other people..staying ahead of the game before they meltdown saying they are hungry or have to pee. It seems like we take way more bathroom breaks now. Do any of you other moms out there deal with 15 minutes after your child pees they then say they have to poop? On a side note the kids have a counseling appointment every other week and we are there for about 1.5 hours and I visit the bathroom 4 times with these kids (2 per kid). Crazy I think.

Then...We went out to dinner and just talked and took our time.

Now...We go out to dinner and if we have to wait we try to keep them entertained and then after we order our food try to keep them entertained knowing that if we don't they will act like animals and just keep getting in trouble.

We love being able to do different things with the kids and take them places, it is definitely different though and so much revolves around staying ahead of what they are thinking and predicting how they are going to act and redirect that before it gets ugly. Sometimes more work than its worth.

Then...we anticipated having kids with us and the fun things we could do with them

Now...we actually get to do them!!!

Embarrassed By Your Mom

Hindsight is always better right? Sometimes you do things and then you think about them later and your like oh man..I shouldn't have done that. Do you remember those moments when you were a kid and you were embarrassed by your Mom, by something she said or did?

Well I had one of those moments the other day, only this time Cruiser was most likely embarrassed by me. It was a typical morning and I was dropping the boys off for school. I always drop them off down in the cafeteria and they play for a while before eating breakfast. Normally I just give hugs, kisses, high fives and knuckles and then I'm out the door. On this particular day I told Cruiser I would stay for a few minutes to watch him play with his friends. I told him he should go ask his friends if he could play with them. He's kind of hesitant about opening up to people so I thought I was helping by being encouraging. He seemed a little sheepish about me hanging around but he walked away with a weird grin on his face. He went over to his friends and they were playing catch. He just kind of stood there and then he looked over at me and I was waving at him and kind of shooing him along to ask them. I was even mouthing the words...ask them if you can play with them. He ran over to me with that same grin on his face and I told him again to just go over and ask them if he could play too. I gave him another kiss and a hug and then kind of shooed him along to play. The whole time he walked back over to his friends he was looking back at me with that weird smile. He was probably thinking..geez Mom just leave your embarrassing me. I stood there for just another minute or so and then I left.

It didn't come to mind until a few days after that he was probably embarrassed. I shared it with Aaron and he started busting up laughing...it was then that I knew I was a dorky Mom.

What I Miss Most

My weekends. I miss my weekends. Before the kids Aaron and I did whatever we felt like on Saturdays and Sundays. We could get up when we wanted and decide to eat breakfast when we wanted and what errands to run and especially going out to dinner. Like I've said before, I love these kids they just make our weekends a little different than before. Since they get up around 6:30 on school days, they are usually up before 8 on the weekends. On weekends I'm used to getting up as late as 8 and sometimes later than that. Also, it just makes it difficult to run errands with them sometimes. They aren't always cooperative and obedient especially if they are hungry. Sometimes Aaron and I would eat a late lunch or late dinner and with the kids its usually not possible. There have been a few times where we have been out running errands and had to just leave and come home and forget about finishing them because they just wouldn't listen. I'm sure this is just something you have to get used to once you have kids, I'm just still trying to adjust to that.

In other news the kids started Early Childhood this week. They will still go to preschool in the morning and then they go Early Childhood in the afternoon. They just started this week so we'll see how they like it. It is going to be long days for them and I'm thinking they will be exhausted by bedtime but I think it will be good for them to have some more learning time!

After Christmas was over we took the basement and made it into a playroom so I'll have to post pictures of that here soon! It looks nice and they have tons of toys down there to play with.

The kids have been with us for several months now and they are doing so well. They have been really improving in school and with playing with other kids. Hopefully this Early Childhood will also help them excel!

When 1-2-3 Magic Isn't 1-2-3 Magic

Wow. I know I haven't posted in quite a while. Ever since the boys got placed with us my blogging has kind of fallen off. By the time they go to bed at night I don't have the energy to post anything. There are so many things I wish I could share about them but we just can't. They are doing very well in preschool and learning lots of new things. They have really improved in letters, colors, numbers, and Cruiser writes his name by himself now! Some days he does better than others but with encouragement and when he's in the mood he writes it really well. Bruiser is day-time potty trained and even at school he does very well. He was wearing regular underwear with potty pants over top in case he did have an accident. After being accident free for a while I took the potty pants off and he's done very well since then!!!! He had a few accidents at school after the potty pants were gone but not many!! I've heard/read other Mom's talk about dreading when its about time to potty train. I'm sure I would have felt the same way if I had a child that was reaching that age. Thankfully, getting placed with a boy that is already at that age I didn't have time to dread getting to that point...he was already at the point of needing to have it done so I didn't have time to stew about it. With my personality I think it was good I didn't have the time to think about it...it was better to just dive right in and get it done. Easier said than done though. He still wears a diaper at night but everybody keeps telling me not to worry about it...that it will come in time. I'm trying to work on not letting it bother me.

As far as discipline goes we have been trying to figure out strategies that will work so they will learn to behave. Time-outs, corner and removal of privileges. I've been trying to talk with others on what works for them and their children. The hard thing is that they are raising bio children. I haven't had these kids since birth so I'm starting out with one very strong willed little boy and one who loves to please but does get moody/ornery. Don't get me wrong they are very good boys. However, they are kids so they do misbehave, challenge us, test our patience, and be ornery.

I've heard of 1-2-3 Magic by a few people and I've actually watched most of the DVD. I have always been skeptical of counting because I think that by counting to 3 or whatever number you may choose the child catches on that once you say 1 they still have at least 1 more chance to misbehave and they turn that into them controlling the situation by stopping the behavior at 2 or right when you say 3. Basically it just feels like your giving them permission to continue on in the behavior. Now I do realize the counting may not work for all situations however the DVD didn't cover some of the  problems I have run into. For example, the first few times I did the counting with the boys and they persisted in their behavior they did take a time-out. However, now they think it is a game and when I say 1 they look at me and smile, persist in the behavior and then say that's 2. Man that is so frustrating. Its like they think its a game. But maybe I am doing something wrong...because this certainly isn't magic. I know that their is an age difference in the boys but when they are smiling at me and laughing and just by the look on their faces they know that they are doing something wrong they do need discipline for their actions. I've tried explaining behavior has consequences such as time outs, corner, removal of privileges. Cruiser seems to understand that most of the time. Bruiser still seems a bit puzzled by this and I've tried to break it down as simply as I can but maybe he's just still too young. During the 1-2-3 Magic DVD I watched the guy talk about us parents thinking of the kids as "little adults" he referred to it as "little adult syndrome." I feel myself thinking this many times. Forgetting that they don't have the same reasoning/logic that we do and that if I didn't have those expectations I could understand more of their misbehavior. So anyways, I'm not sure counting is going to work for us. But if any of you reading this do the counting...let me know what you think. Am I doing something wrong?

Our licensing worker came for her semi-annual over a month ago and talked about the discipline strategy called "Love & Logic" so I might start looking into that. I think the agency offers classes on it so I might just sign us up for that!

If any of you reading this have any suggestions/advice let me know.

We love love love these boys and they have taught me a lot! They wear me out but also make me laugh and smile at their craziness!

Praying With Them And For Them

Each night before we put the boys to bed we pray with them. At first it was hard to get them to sit still and not keep interrupting. They do much better now. The little one still keeps his eyes open and kind of gazes off in space but I've noticed that the older one really closes his eyes tight and folds his hands and bows his head. We usually thank God for the day, food, safety, other siblings, their Mom and Dad, our family, the opportunity the Lord gave us to care for the boys, and most of all the gift of His Son Jesus who died for us so that we could be saved.

Even though we had been praying with them every night we were curious if they really were listening or understanding what we were saying. Yesterday, I was getting the boys ready for a nap and the older one came and asked can we say our prayers? I have to admit that usually at nap time we don't do prayers so I said, "No we need to get laid down it is getting late." He said, "Ok I'll just say them to myself." I said, Of course you can!" I heard him saying, "Thank you for the day, the food, my mother and father in law names, Aaron and Hammy, sister's names, his Mom and Dad." We walked into the little one's room to lay him down and I said, "Ok let's go ahead and say prayers." When we sat down the older boy said, "I want to say them." So I said, "Ok." He started praying and saying many of the same things above. When he stopped I started praying and when I said, "Most of all Lord thank you for Your Son Jesus who died...." I must have paused or swallowed or something because he immediately said, "For us." I couldn't believe it! He must actually be listening when we pray at night! Of course I realize he may not be understanding it all but I think he understands more than we think. Also, I think its good that they hear us praying for their Mom and Dad, their siblings and also for them. It shows the boys that we care about their birth family and want to support that relationship and also care and love them very much! 

I pray that these are things that will stay with them forever. I pray that no matter what happens the Lord will work in their hearts and reveal Himself to them and that they would trust Him and follow His Son.

Being able to care for them has been such a blessing to us! We LOVE having them with us and they are SO much fun! Many times people ask, "How can you do that? How can you take these kids in knowing they could be returned to their family, you will get attached and how will you give them back?" Well, its true we are definitely attached and love these boys with everything but even if we had biological kids we aren't guaranteed them for life. The Lord gives AND takes away. Many parents have kids that end up passing away whether it be car accident, illness, etc. Do you think those parents would go back and change having that child? Absolutely not! These kids in foster care need so much love and attention and I feel like that would just be me being selfish if all I thought about was my feelings. Of course it will be hard and sad to give these kids back but just knowing we stepped up and cared for them is a great feeling! I would NEVER change having them here regardless of how short/long their stay is. These kids deserve loving/caring/stable families who can help them heal/grow/learn. I'm so thankful the Lord led us down this path and pray that He would continue to give us strength as we travel this unfamiliar (to us anyways) road.

Amazing Feeling

There are many things that are great about being a mom. One of my favorite things however is seeing or hearing the boys do something that Aaron or I have taught them. Its not only an accomplishment for them but it also makes me feel good too! When the boys first came to us they would hardly play toys and constantly follow us around. There is still some of that going on but they are much better at it. We would spend time playing with them and showing them how to use the toys. They also wouldn't pretend play. I remember one day, shortly after they were just placed with us, we were playing with a castle and I was making up stories and pretending with them. They kind of looked at me like I was weird and they didn't quite understand. Now they have started doing pretend play much more often. I can hear them down the hallway, and listening to what they say and a lot of what they are saying is things we say. Typical things you would say when making dinner and setting the table. It is so cute and I love it! They were pretending today about one of the boys being in a time out and the other boy said, "I talked to him about it." He must hear Aaron and I saying that often. When one of the kids is in their room for something Aaron or I will say, "I'm going to go talk to him."

Recently we've been working with one of the boys on learning on how to swing. We were explaining how to pump your legs and we demonstrated it for him. He didn't appear to be listening or seem to want to try. Today when I picked him up from school his teacher asked me if he had been swinging? I told her we were working on it and she said he did it all by himself today. I was so proud of him and gave him a great big hug and kiss and told him how proud of him I was. He got a big smile on his face! That will never get old for me! I love seeing their faces light up when they know we're proud of them. He even asked me in the car about 15 minutes later..."Your proud of me?" Sometimes when I would go and pick him up from school I would watch him play outside. I wondered why he would never be on the swings. It was something I figured he would like. Turns out he just didn't know how.

So many other things such as colors, letters, taking shoes off, putting clothes on and taking them off, putting socks on right. All the things I see them doing that they weren't doing before and knowing we taught them that just makes my heart melt!

This Parenting Business Is Hard Work

Oh man do I love these two little guys we have staying with us! They are so much fun and silly and goofy! They are very affectionate and always wanting hugs and kisses and high fives! They love the praise and attention for things when they have done something right. Just seeing the smile on their face when we tell them we are proud of them or seeing the excitement in his eyes when he writes letters of the alphabet correctly or tell us when he needs to go potty and has not had an accident!

This parenting stuff is hard business though. I knew it would be hard regardless but with foster care I feel there are so many more variables. You are caring for someone else's kids, most times kids you haven't had with you since birth, you don't know a lot of their history and etc. You don't know how long these kids are going to be with you. You want them to enjoy living with you and feeling safe and comfortable and filling their bellies with food and teaching them new things. But at the same time you want to teach them structure and how to behave appropriately and say please and thank you and have a concern for others. I am constantly asking myself is this something I should shrug off as typical kid behavior or something we need to talk with them about or something they need a time out for. At times Aaron and I find ourselves discussing this right after they have just done something wrong and we just look at each other and end up winging it!

I never realized how selfless you have to be as a mom, or should I say how selfish I was before we had kids running around. Now I hardly ever get to start/finish a task without being interrupted, hardly ever getting to eat a meal that stays hot the whole time, knowing that I should let them help me do certain tasks because its good for them to learn and good for them to want to help even though it would be much faster if I just did it myself. Patience is a virtue my friends!

There are some days when I get tired of having to go and talk to a child for the 3rd, 4th, 5th and so on time about how we need to be nice and listen and obey. I need to seize those parenting/teaching moments right when they happen rather than waiting until I throw that last load of clothes in, finish vacuuming or folding laundry.

We've been reading them some bible stories and talking about God with them and explaining to them who God is. The other night the one boy said, (before their bedtime story) "Can we read the God book tonight?" It just made my heart melt. We were having them learn a memory verse last week and just hearing them remember it and say it was so sweet! I know they are young but I pray these things stick with them. I pray they will learn to love the Lord and follow His Son.

I want to make sure I spend time with them, not just meeting their basic physical needs but all their other needs too, emotional, social, intellectual, and cultural needs. Teaching them, playing with them and just being there for them. They are only young for such a short time and its time we can't get back and if they go home I want to make sure I gave them plenty of love and attention!

So these last few months have been amazing, exhausting, fun, challenging, and rewarding. I'm so thankful that God led us to foster care. It's had its frustrations and challenges and I'm sure there will be many more obstacles ahead but knowing that we were allowed the chance to provide these kids with a safe haven during a time of confusion and trauma makes me so thankful!



For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.   Jeremiah 29:11

Blogging

I know I haven't blogged in quite a while. Of course we've been busy over the past couple months and there are so many things I want to write about I'm just not sure if I want to continue blogging or not. We've been having a lot of fun and enjoying taking care of the 2 little guys we have with us but at the same time we feel so frustrated with the "system." I think most of my posts would all be negative so I'm trying to decide whether to keep writing or not.

Life As A (Foster) Mom

Appointments, phone calls, court, visits, more appointments, more phone calls....well I guess you get the picture. Have you noticed my posts are getting fewer and farther between? On top of all the things mentioned above I think I hear my name, although pronounced differently (Hammy) about 1,495,765 times a day. Of course I'm exaggerating but it sure feels like it. They say it about 12 times before I can even give them an answer. Crazy kids! However, they are super sweet, super cute, super loving and a lot of fun!

Whew it has been quite a week and I would be lying if I said it was easy. This has probably been the hardest week since the kids have been placed with us. I've just been feeling stressed and overwhelmed and wanting things to slow down. We've had so many things going on I think my feeling rundown is starting to catch up with me. Preschool, potty training (which is including lots of extra laundry), clothes shopping, all those appts, phone calls, paperwork. I'm sure many of you reading this have experienced this, but have you sat in the Dr's office for over an hour with a toddler for the Dr. to come in and spend 2 minutes with you?

I'm hoping within the next few weeks things will continue slowing down but we shall see. We've been enjoying having them with us. They are learning new things, opening up more and more and hopefully having lots of fun! We're praying that we can settle into a routine soon and continue to show these kids love and attention and fun and teach them about Jesus!!

Life Is Different Now...But A Good Different

Wow...what a difference a week and a half makes. Going from 0 to 2 kids in a matter of a few days has been crazy busy. Lots of phone calls, appointments, running here and there and everywhere.

So far things have been going very well. We have definitely fallen in love with these little guys and they've captured our hearts! When they are being silly, Aaron and I just look at each other and smile. They seem to be attaching/bonding well with us and our family so we are thankful for that. They are so sweet and so loving. I've heard people that have fostered before say this is the "honeymoon phase" but I'm praying they stay sweet and loving! They are super good eaters and eat pretty much anything we put in front of them so we happy about that. I'm the pickiest eater I know but they aren't picky at all.

The first few nights we just had the one and he had a little trouble going to bed but thats understandable. I ended up rocking him to sleep in the chair and then carrying him to his bed. The little one just cries for a few minutes when we put him to bed then he's pretty much out. There have been two nights that he has woken up but he seems to just be having a bad dream and goes back to sleep pretty quickly.

I seem to now have 4 extra feet following me everywhere which is a test of patience but I keep reminding myself how badly I wanted to have those little feet following me around. They helped me bake cookies the other day which was fun. We ended up with flour and sugar all over the floor but turns out the one boy loves vacuuming so he took care of it for me! It's so sweet to see how excited they get over baking cookies or helping you do something. They want to empty the washer/dryer, load/unload the dishwasher, carry in groceries. Aaron said we should enjoy this because eventually they might not be so willing to help. 

We have just been so thankful for this opportunity and this chance to love on these little guys! They make us smile and laugh and even though it has been tiring and lots of changes and less time for ourselves we've been enjoying having them here! They bring tears to my eyes when I see their faces light up when we tell them we're proud of them for behaving or going on the big boy potty or learning their colors and abc's. After telling the little one we're proud of him he will point to himself  with a big smile on his face and say, "Proud of me?"

So many nights I prayed/cried for a child or children and wondered if it was in God's plan for us. Back a year ago or maybe even a year and a half ago a friend from high school asked me about foster care and if we would be interested in that. At that time I thought oh no way could Aaron and I do that. We talked about it a little bit but decided that we didn't feel ready for something like that. Over time God opened our hearts to it and we felt more led in that direction. We thought that maybe we could go ahead and take the classes to just be prepared if we decided to switch agencies and pursue foster care. The classes helped us realize how blessed we were by the families we had and that lots of kids out there don't have that. We wanted to help and make a difference even if it was just temporary.

Our church family has been amazing with support and encouragement! We have had people bringing meals this past week and also this upcoming week! It has been super encouraging for them to meet the boys and also bring a super tasty dinner. I've received lots of emails/texts/messages with words of support and prayers that have given me strength when I've been so tired from cleaning up messes and going potty and washing hands 75 times a day!!

I've thankful for this path that God led us down and I want to remember to cherish every moment with these boys because we don't know how long they will be with us! We will love on them for as long as we can!

This week potty training is going to be my job. Prayers please!!!

                                              A site I never thought I'd see...little shoes!!!!

Wee Hours Of The Morning

Its 1:30 in the morning Thursday. I can't sleep its been such a crazy day. The day started off just like any other day. As far as having things planned, Kya had a grooming appointment at 12:30 and I had just a few other errands to run. I was already running slightly behind the schedule I had in my head. I was driving to my next errand when my phone went off and it was the ringtone I have for our foster agency. Our worker was on the other end of the line and said she had a call on a placement. It was a 4 year old boy and his 3 year old brother. We felt hesitant because just a week ago we had a placement that didn't work out. It was so frustrating, exhausting, challenging. Since that placement we lowered our age range to 0-younger than 2. We also said we would only take in one at a time. I spoke with our worker about these changes on Monday and she said that was fine. Therefore, when we got the call today we were hesitant. Knowing what we just went through and what those kids just had to go through by being moved again, we didn't want to end up in the same situation.

I got as much information as I could and said I would call Aaron. She said that was fine but to call her back ASAP!! I called Aaron and he didn't answer so I texted him the words CALL ME NOW! When he gets a text like that he knows its something regarding a placement. He called right away and we were both so hesitant but at the same time wanted to say yes. We were trying to remind ourselves that we didn't just go into foster care with the intent to adopt. We also went into this wanting to help children, provide them with a temporary loving home when they desperately need that. Our worker said that they would work on a "back-up" family in case this didn't work out. She knew we were a little hesitant. She said they wouldn't pull the kids from us though if it did end up working out.

We ended up saying yes and an hour later went down to the agency to pick up the 4 year old. The 3 year old should be joining us sometime in the next few days. It was crazy trying to get to the agency on time to pick the older one up. I still had to run an errand for my grandma, run home and get our booster seat, drop the dog off (in case it took a long time at the agency). I stopped to run the errand for my grandma and thinking I would just run in quick I left the dog in the car. Well, it's been beastly hot out but she had just got groomed so she was with me so I had to leave her in the car. I thought about leaving it running but figured I would be back in under 2 minutes. Poor thing had to sit there for 10-15 minutes while I picked up the stuff. When I got back to the car she was definitely hot and panting. I made it home, got the booster seat, met Aaron at home and just right back in the car. We dropped the dog off hoping she would be fine and cool down quickly and then ran to drop stuff off at my grandmas. By this time we were running about 10 minutes late. Once we finally get close to the office there was construction. We ended up showing up over 15 minutes late but it worked out.

Once we left the office we ran and got some gas in the car (light came on while stuck in construction), picked up some Mcdonald's for dinner and headed home. Once we got home he had a hard time coming into the house. He would walk just on the door step and then stop. He didn't want to come inside, so we ended up eating dinner on the front step. We played outside for a while and then managed to get him inside.

My in-laws came over for a while and my mother-in law and I along with the little guy ran to Wal-Mart to get clothes, shoes and food. He only had 1 pair of pjs, 1 pair of underwear, and 2 left feet for shoes.

So far this placement has been totally different than our last one. So far it seems to be working out much better! We'll see how the rest of the week and weekend goes. We'll probably be trying to stay low-key and hang around home.

We're so thankful for this opportunity the Lord has given us.

The Past Few Weeks

July has been a pretty busy month so I haven't updated much. My niece and nephews were in town for a couple weeks so we were busy hanging out with them. I ended up getting sick just a few days after they got here. I had a sore throat/cold/really tired. I spent a few days on the couch just resting hoping to get rid of it quickly. However, it ended up lasting pretty much a whole week. We did enjoy getting to see them though and went swimming a few times and went to the movies! I'll post a few pictures below. Remember how we did respite care about a month ago? Well since that girl is the same age as my niece and pretty close in age to my nephew she came over and swam with us and played with them. They had a good time. When we picked her up we had my niece and nephew with us and we went back to our house. When we got out of the car she was telling them how she had a room here and how much she missed the animals.

My niece and nephew kept calling it _______'s room each time they came over.

My in-laws came by our house to drop some stuff off after they dropped the niece and nephews off and Family Core called. We had just come inside and I said, "Aaron that was your phone ringing." I looked at it and I said, "It was Family Core!!!!" I ran to my phone and I had a voicemail and M (our worker) said I was calling about a few placements if you could call me back." We immediately dialed her number and talked to her. It was a possible placement of a sibling group of 3. A 4 year old, 2 year old, and a newborn girl. We got all the information and said that yes we would accept it. She said she would call the investigator back and get more information. However, by the time she called back another agency had already found a family. She then told me that she was going to call us on a different placement the following day but since she already had me on the phone she would tell me now. It was a sibling group of two that were 4 and 2 years old. She said to think about it overnight and call her in the morning. We went out to dinner and talked about it and decided that we would say yes.

We spent the next few days getting things ready and all cleaned up. We were very excited and looking forward to them coming. They were to be with us indefinitely. They had a return home goal but it was a very new case so they would've been with us for a long time most likely.

It ended up that the kids were much more of a challenge than we thought. There were a few things we didn't know ahead of time but found out once they dropped them off that concerned us a little bit. The whole weekend was very exhausting and challenging. I won't go into a lot of detail on here but we had to call their caseworker and have them moved to a different home. I think they needed more experienced parents not first timers. We could tell it just wasn't going to work for Aaron and I so it would be best to move them.

I wasn't feeling well the last day they were here. Early that morning I woke up with a headache and felt like my face was on fire. I was freezing but sweating and had a sore throat. It kind of subsided for the day but right after the kids left my sore throat kicked into high gear, I got the chills, 102 fever, headache and body aches. I ended up going to the doctor on Tuesday and they did a strep test that came back negative. I felt terrible all week long. My throat was so raw it was almost unbearable to swallow. I'm finally starting to feel on the mend now.

So that kind of updates you all as to what has been going on.

We're not sure what this means as far as future placements. M said that this kind of thing happens and that it won't affect us getting future calls. Aaron and I have been discussing what to do. We know we need to lower our age range probably to 0-younger than 2. And also just take in one kid at a time. We felt way in over our heads with both of them and with their ages.

Aaron is ready to just go with that. I on the other hand am more concerned. I feel like this experience has made me concerned/worried that maybe I'm not cut out to be a mom or maybe kids aren't a good thing for us since we couldn't handle these 2. I've been spending time praying about it and I'm just not really sure what to do at this point. We'll see what the next few weeks brings.

Excited

Hey all! Happy Friday. It is most definitely hot out there today. I went to grab some lunch from Mcdonald's and the temperature on the sign said 104*. YIKES! I think tomorrow is our last day of this nasty heat wave. My niece and nephews are in town staying with their grandparents so we beat the heat today with some swimming. (pictures later)

In other news I spoke with our licensing worker today and we got some good news. Not any news on a placement yet. But, she told me that "little one's" (exclude her name for privacy) caseworker was so impressed with all the things we did with her that she is very excited to place some kids with us soon. M (our worker) said this other caseworker couldn't believe we were a newly licensed family.

We still haven't received our "official" license in the mail yet but hopefully in the next 2 weeks. She said DCFS is running verrrry slow right now. But, once the license is all taken care of we will be put on some list (not sure what it is called..couldn't understand her) to where we should receive more calls.

M said we should be prepared to hear from her very soon. Also, that we should enjoy it just being the two of us as much as we can because it could end soon. As much as this excites me it also gets my hopes up. And, I'm not a fan of getting my hopes up. I've had it happen too many times in the last 3.5 years to only end up upset in the end. I know this is in God's hands so I take comfort in that.

Anyways, we're looking forward to seeing what is coming next!

As M called me we were getting ready to take my niece and nephews to the pool. In all the excitement from the phone call, I hopped in the pool with my phone in my pocket. Aaron wasn't happy with me as a new one cost $230. OUCH!

Sorry if this post seems really scattered. I feel that is how my brain is today.

Have a good weekend!

Baby/Toddler Shopping

Aaron and I went shopping the other night to buy some baby/toddler items. Things we felt we should have if we got a call on a child that we needed to go pick up asap. We'll pick up some more gender specific things once placed but for now I settled for gender neutral.

This is what we've picked up so far

-2 baby blankets
-4pack receiving blankets
-2 fitted crib sheets
-2 sippy cups
-2 toothbrushes
-kid toothpaste
-kid mouth rinse
-thermometer
-nail clippers
-Cars and Princess silverware
-nightlights
-wipes
-toothbrush cups
-Johnson's baby wash and lotion
-toddler car seat
-extra set of twin sheets (in case there is an accident)

Do you see the Spongebob fabric under the nightlights? I figured I would make another pillowcase, just like the monkey one but with boy fabric. I can just switch out the pillowcase if its a boy or girl. If we ended up with 2 kids I'd just get another pillow.

Ok, so all you moms out there....what am I forgetting? Things that are more of a necessity those first few days? We wanted to be somewhat prepared if we had to go pick up a child at 3am and didn't want to spend a lot of time at the store. I realize I don't have any diapers but I don't want to go out and buy one of each size that maybe we would never use. Diapers are something quick we can run in and grab.

Brut Deodrant

Here it is folks! The long awaited deodrant post. Haven't you all been on the edge of your seats waiting? Due to us being a little busier than normal this weekend because of a little sweetheart the post is later than I thought it would be.

Now on to how I got the deodrant for only .08 each. Our local Kroger store had it on sale for $1 each. I ended up having coupons for $1 off 1 deodrant. Therefore, all I had to pay was tax which was .08 each.

I bought 20 coupons for the Brut on Ebay for $1.75. I only ended up getting 15 deodrants since the store ended up being out of stock.

Overall I spent $2.95 for the coupons and deodrant. The normal cost for the deodrant is $2.69 each. Thats like totally amazing!!! I'm so excited.