New Perspective

Hey all! Happy Memorial Day weekend! Its definitely going to be a hot one around here tomorrow! I'm planning on staying inside as much as possible.

I know I've mentioned that Aaron and I are taking a trauma training class this month. The classes have been going very well. We've heard a lot of other's experiences and their ways with dealing with certain issues. I think their experience will definitely help us be better foster parents and hopefully care for the children better.

We did an exercise last night that really helped us put into perspective what the children may be experiencing. They gave each of us 5 index cards and had us write down the 5 most important people in our life. Then she came around and randomly selected one of our 5 people and took them away. She did this 3 more times so we were only left with one of our 5 most important people.

As she was coming around "taking" our people we were all trying to bargain with her..."oh no don't take that one" or "no you can't have her/him."

I think we each felt a little traumatized because it was so quick, sudden and unexpected. It took us by surprise and we had no control over who she took. We didn't get a say in any of it.

It made us think that a lot of times this is what the children go through. All of a sudden Mom and Dad might get taken away and the child doesn't have any idea what is happening and they don't have any say where they are going. Say that child gets put in foster care and is with a different family unrelated to the child. Now the child has lost his/her parents, possibly grandparents and siblings (because most families aren't willing to take more than one). Regardless of how great the foster family they live with is, the child will still feel the loss of those people.

No wonder these children come with their "invisible suitcase" of emotions, thoughts, and feelings about themselves that they carry around with them. They could have been told they were ugly, stupid, a burden, its their fault that mommy and daddy have problems and on and on. We as their caregivers need to help them "unpack" that suitcase and repack it with whats true. Can you imagine how you would feel if that is all that you were told about yourself?

This exercise not only helped us understand these children better but also to remember to always be thankful for the people God has in our life and not to take them for granted.