These past few days have been a little hard for me. I'm struggling with not knowing. Not knowing when they will call again or if they will call again. My heart aches to have little ones running around here. I so badly want to take as many children as God would give us out of the system. I just can't imagine never having any children. I don't care if they aren't biological they will still be my kid. How long do we keep on keeping on before raising the white flag and saying we're done. Accepting the reality that maybe kids aren't His plan for us. Maybe we will forever be a party of 2. This breaks my heart and brings tears to my eyes as I type it. We might never need a bigger kitchen table, car seats, high chairs. I've been saving coupons for diapers, wipes and kid-type snacks, only to throw them away because they expire.
It's been almost 3.5 years since we began the journey to starting a family. I know many people that struggle with infertility wait much longer than this. I feel for them and I understand their heartache and how real it is.
Just had to share a little bit of what was on my mind.
Trusting that His mercies are new tomorrow and praying for a better day.
Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see;
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me!
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