Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him; Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, Because of the man who carries out wicked schemes.
Psalm 37:7
I need to plaster this one on my forehead!
Monday, December 20, 2010
Flu and Other Things
Whew! Its been a long time since I've posted. We've been busy with work and getting ready for Christmas and also having the flu.
Aaron's grandpa passed away from esophageal cancer on 12-1-10. He wasn't diagnosed until somewhere around mid October of this year. He had a bad cold I think before this and was having a hard time getting rid of it. I think he ended up going to see a doctor and that is how they discovered the cancer. It was on his esophagus and had spread to other areas. I was surprised at how fast this cancer took a hold of his body. I had just saw him on Friday (day after Thanksgiving) and he seemed weak but still doing alright. By Wednesday he had passed away. We miss him and miss seeing him sitting in his chair when we go over to visit Grandma.
Aaron's brothers ended up coming down again to spend some time with his Grandma. We shared a meal together at Aaron's parent's house and then took her out for Red Lobster the next day. After we got back from eating we started playing some games and that is when I started to not feel so well. My stomach felt very crampy and I just assumed it was from all the food we had eaten the past couple of days. As time went on it hurt worse and I eventually asked Aaron if we could head home. By the time we pulled in the drive I ran to the bathroom and tossed my cookies. I continued to toss my cookies all night and through the afternoon the next day. I don't remember the last time I had the flu that bad. I felt really weak and achy and frozen. I couldn't get warm no matter how hard I tried. The positives out of this were that I managed to get sick and be well for the holidays and I lost 6 pounds. This way I was gearing up for the all the eating around Christmas.
We had Christmas on my Mom's side yesterday so that was fun. We ate a nice meal, opened presents, played some games and fed my uncle's horses. My mom didn't end up getting to go since she now is sick. I think my Dad gave her his sickness. We're all just passing along all the germs.
Well not much else is going on! Aaron is looking forward to the end of this week since he will be off until the first of the year. He told me the other day that once he goes back after Christmas he will only have 5 months left of this rotation. He is looking forward to getting off of 3rd shift. I'm surprised at how fast those 7 months have gone by.
In other news Aaron's cousin's wife is pregnant and we are throwing her a baby shower sometime within the next month or so. I LOVE planning things like this and I found a great website with some really great ideas! I'll add the link on here in case you want to check it out. You might have to copy and paste though. For some reason it won't let me paste on here?? Does anyone else have that problem? Anyways, check it out, its really neat!
http://www.simplybabystuff.com/
That is it for now!
Aaron's grandpa passed away from esophageal cancer on 12-1-10. He wasn't diagnosed until somewhere around mid October of this year. He had a bad cold I think before this and was having a hard time getting rid of it. I think he ended up going to see a doctor and that is how they discovered the cancer. It was on his esophagus and had spread to other areas. I was surprised at how fast this cancer took a hold of his body. I had just saw him on Friday (day after Thanksgiving) and he seemed weak but still doing alright. By Wednesday he had passed away. We miss him and miss seeing him sitting in his chair when we go over to visit Grandma.
Aaron's brothers ended up coming down again to spend some time with his Grandma. We shared a meal together at Aaron's parent's house and then took her out for Red Lobster the next day. After we got back from eating we started playing some games and that is when I started to not feel so well. My stomach felt very crampy and I just assumed it was from all the food we had eaten the past couple of days. As time went on it hurt worse and I eventually asked Aaron if we could head home. By the time we pulled in the drive I ran to the bathroom and tossed my cookies. I continued to toss my cookies all night and through the afternoon the next day. I don't remember the last time I had the flu that bad. I felt really weak and achy and frozen. I couldn't get warm no matter how hard I tried. The positives out of this were that I managed to get sick and be well for the holidays and I lost 6 pounds. This way I was gearing up for the all the eating around Christmas.
We had Christmas on my Mom's side yesterday so that was fun. We ate a nice meal, opened presents, played some games and fed my uncle's horses. My mom didn't end up getting to go since she now is sick. I think my Dad gave her his sickness. We're all just passing along all the germs.
Well not much else is going on! Aaron is looking forward to the end of this week since he will be off until the first of the year. He told me the other day that once he goes back after Christmas he will only have 5 months left of this rotation. He is looking forward to getting off of 3rd shift. I'm surprised at how fast those 7 months have gone by.
In other news Aaron's cousin's wife is pregnant and we are throwing her a baby shower sometime within the next month or so. I LOVE planning things like this and I found a great website with some really great ideas! I'll add the link on here in case you want to check it out. You might have to copy and paste though. For some reason it won't let me paste on here?? Does anyone else have that problem? Anyways, check it out, its really neat!
http://www.simplybabystuff.com/
That is it for now!
Monday, November 29, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
No Coverage
Well the information with the insurance coverage ended up being open for viewing tonight. There is unfortunately no fertility coverage except diagnosing infertility. They will not cover any kind of treatment.
This is kind of what I expected to happen once Aaron said they would be changing that with the insurance. I tried pushing it to the back of my mind hoping that maybe by some chance they would cover it.
We're not completely decided on what we want to do. We feel that it is a lot of money to do the laprascopic procedure to not necessarily end up with any answers. If they find something and can fix it doesn't mean we'll get pregnant. If we don't do any of this stuff at all doesn't mean we'll get pregnant. There are so many options to weigh out it is hard. Maybe all of these difficulties and setbacks is God's way of showing us that this isn't His will for us. Even if we did try intrauterine insemination there are a lot of medicines and ultrasounds and to me it sounds like more of an emotional roller coaster.
Aaron and I talked a little bit tonight about this and I told him I don't want to go back to the way I was feeling last year around this time. I felt the waiting part of it and then the anticipation of the appointment and then the let-down afterwards with more disappointing news. I was an emotional wreck. The medicine they put you on can cause increased emotions. I felt that way just being on Clomid. There were times where I felt fine and in a good mood and it could be a matter of seconds and I felt so angry and really irrational and kind of crazy. I don't want to go back to that. I can't go back to that. If the medicine doesn't work the first time around they just increase the dose each time it doesn't work. This in turn makes the emotional roller coaster fly at amazing speeds.
So, not for sure what we will do next. I think I would have a hard time being at peace with the situation if we don't do the laprascopy. But then if we do that and they fix it or say they found nothing will I then not be at peace until we try IUI (intrauterine insemination) once, twice or three times. Will it just keep going? Will we get soo caught up in the process that we lose our focus? Shouldn't my peace be in the Lord and in His will and knowing that He knows all these things and will provide us with all He sees fit?
Now for a little side note...
Aaron sometimes ends up talking to guys at work that have adopted. And it did happen to come up today. Maybe God had a hand in this. He was eating lunch with a co-worker and had no idea the guy had kids but they got to talking and the guy said they were getting ready to adopt their second child. He said they tried for 18 years to have a baby (biological) and they never did. They went through all the same stuff we are (but for 18 years!!!!!) but they finally said they didn't want to do that anymore. They didn't want to be on a schedule and let this take over their life so they said no more doctors, no more temperature, no more tests.
Aaron and I found that interesting that it came up at work today (since we knew this insurance stuff was coming up tonight/tomorrow). Maybe the Lord will lead our hearts to adoption. Maybe He won't, but either way my prayer is to trust Him FULLY and COMPLETELY. He knows whats best for us. This is a daily battle but I am thankful for this because He's drawing me closer to Him, I'm wanting to know Him more deeply and rest in Him.
That is it for now!
This is kind of what I expected to happen once Aaron said they would be changing that with the insurance. I tried pushing it to the back of my mind hoping that maybe by some chance they would cover it.
We're not completely decided on what we want to do. We feel that it is a lot of money to do the laprascopic procedure to not necessarily end up with any answers. If they find something and can fix it doesn't mean we'll get pregnant. If we don't do any of this stuff at all doesn't mean we'll get pregnant. There are so many options to weigh out it is hard. Maybe all of these difficulties and setbacks is God's way of showing us that this isn't His will for us. Even if we did try intrauterine insemination there are a lot of medicines and ultrasounds and to me it sounds like more of an emotional roller coaster.
Aaron and I talked a little bit tonight about this and I told him I don't want to go back to the way I was feeling last year around this time. I felt the waiting part of it and then the anticipation of the appointment and then the let-down afterwards with more disappointing news. I was an emotional wreck. The medicine they put you on can cause increased emotions. I felt that way just being on Clomid. There were times where I felt fine and in a good mood and it could be a matter of seconds and I felt so angry and really irrational and kind of crazy. I don't want to go back to that. I can't go back to that. If the medicine doesn't work the first time around they just increase the dose each time it doesn't work. This in turn makes the emotional roller coaster fly at amazing speeds.
So, not for sure what we will do next. I think I would have a hard time being at peace with the situation if we don't do the laprascopy. But then if we do that and they fix it or say they found nothing will I then not be at peace until we try IUI (intrauterine insemination) once, twice or three times. Will it just keep going? Will we get soo caught up in the process that we lose our focus? Shouldn't my peace be in the Lord and in His will and knowing that He knows all these things and will provide us with all He sees fit?
Now for a little side note...
Aaron sometimes ends up talking to guys at work that have adopted. And it did happen to come up today. Maybe God had a hand in this. He was eating lunch with a co-worker and had no idea the guy had kids but they got to talking and the guy said they were getting ready to adopt their second child. He said they tried for 18 years to have a baby (biological) and they never did. They went through all the same stuff we are (but for 18 years!!!!!) but they finally said they didn't want to do that anymore. They didn't want to be on a schedule and let this take over their life so they said no more doctors, no more temperature, no more tests.
Aaron and I found that interesting that it came up at work today (since we knew this insurance stuff was coming up tonight/tomorrow). Maybe the Lord will lead our hearts to adoption. Maybe He won't, but either way my prayer is to trust Him FULLY and COMPLETELY. He knows whats best for us. This is a daily battle but I am thankful for this because He's drawing me closer to Him, I'm wanting to know Him more deeply and rest in Him.
That is it for now!
Insurance
The long awaited day....is tomorrow. We should finally get some more information regarding our insurance and what will/will not be covered next year. Not that this will be good news necessarily but it will at least help us in decision making.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Sick Feeling
Well its been almost 2 years since we started trying get pregnant and we've spent most of our time *waiting*. Waiting to do this test or that test, waiting for the results then waiting on insurance, waiting for an appointment with a different doctor and then, now more waiting for insurance. I've always said I'm a very impatient person so hopefully this trial will teach me patience and being content with God's will among many other things.
Since we've spent most of our time waiting and especially lately I haven't had to deal with it directly. As in we haven't had appointments to go to and tests to do, etc. That was always the hardest part was going to the appointment/test and hearing the bad/disappointing news. As we've been idling along here for the past 4-5 months that is something I haven't had to deal with. So I kind of felt protected.
Yesterday (Friday) I called Dr. G's (fertility specialist) office to set up another consult to get some more information about the surgery and also answer some questions we have. Aaron and I decided on Thursday that we would call to set up this appointment but I didn't think much of it. As I started dialing the number my stomach started to churn. I felt sick inside like I could get rid of all the breakfast I had just eaten. Talking in my head I was saying, "Oh no I can't push this to the back of my mind any longer, I have to face this, I have to face the fact that the answer might just be, "I'm sorry you can't have any children."
I know that the doctors don't have the final answer and that the Lord knows all these things but calling and making that appointment made me feel like it was just one step closer to the disappointing result-NO children.
We should have some answers regarding the insurance at the end of next week and I'm praying that the Lord will give us wisdom and direction with what to do next.
Since we've spent most of our time waiting and especially lately I haven't had to deal with it directly. As in we haven't had appointments to go to and tests to do, etc. That was always the hardest part was going to the appointment/test and hearing the bad/disappointing news. As we've been idling along here for the past 4-5 months that is something I haven't had to deal with. So I kind of felt protected.
Yesterday (Friday) I called Dr. G's (fertility specialist) office to set up another consult to get some more information about the surgery and also answer some questions we have. Aaron and I decided on Thursday that we would call to set up this appointment but I didn't think much of it. As I started dialing the number my stomach started to churn. I felt sick inside like I could get rid of all the breakfast I had just eaten. Talking in my head I was saying, "Oh no I can't push this to the back of my mind any longer, I have to face this, I have to face the fact that the answer might just be, "I'm sorry you can't have any children."
I know that the doctors don't have the final answer and that the Lord knows all these things but calling and making that appointment made me feel like it was just one step closer to the disappointing result-NO children.
We should have some answers regarding the insurance at the end of next week and I'm praying that the Lord will give us wisdom and direction with what to do next.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Selective Reduction...I Think NOT!!
Aaron and I have always felt pretty firm in our decision to not do IVF if that was something recommended to us. We don't feel comfortable with the way the procedure is performed and also the fact that you have such a higher risk for multiples. Doctors would maybe recommend selective reduction if they feel the that number of babies you are carrying is unhealthy for you and the babies. Selective reduction is basically what it says you select which egg(s) or as I refer to them baby(babies) you want to dispose of.
Well here is a little excerpt from the book "In Vitro Fertilization" that I received at the Women's Lifestyle Show. This book further confirmed our thoughts and feelings on the fact that we would NOT consider IVF.
Here we go...
"Selective reduction of pregnancy is usually performed prior to completion of the third month of gestation. It involves the injection of a chemical under guidance by ultrasound directly into one or more developing concepti so as to reduce the total number (usually to twins). This is soon followed by absorption of the products of conception by the body. Properly performed by an expert selective reduction of pregnancy rarely (2-7% of cases) results in total loss of the pregnancy."
We have a few problems with this....
1.) Usually before the end of the third month?? That seems pretty far into it as far as I'm concerned.
2.) Injection of a chemical directly into "concepti"(nice choice of words here)
3.) Absorption of the products (another nice choice of words)
All I could say after reading that was WOW!!! There are so many things wrong with that paragraph. As a friend of mine put it that is abortion with a different name to it.
Well here is a little excerpt from the book "In Vitro Fertilization" that I received at the Women's Lifestyle Show. This book further confirmed our thoughts and feelings on the fact that we would NOT consider IVF.
Here we go...
"Selective reduction of pregnancy is usually performed prior to completion of the third month of gestation. It involves the injection of a chemical under guidance by ultrasound directly into one or more developing concepti so as to reduce the total number (usually to twins). This is soon followed by absorption of the products of conception by the body. Properly performed by an expert selective reduction of pregnancy rarely (2-7% of cases) results in total loss of the pregnancy."
We have a few problems with this....
1.) Usually before the end of the third month?? That seems pretty far into it as far as I'm concerned.
2.) Injection of a chemical directly into "concepti"(nice choice of words here)
3.) Absorption of the products (another nice choice of words)
All I could say after reading that was WOW!!! There are so many things wrong with that paragraph. As a friend of mine put it that is abortion with a different name to it.
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