Possible Opportunity or Taking Control....Again.

You know how you hear people say that they felt like God was calling them to do this or that? Or that they felt like God was really leading them one way or the other?

I struggle with this. Its hard for me to distinguish if something is part of God's plan or will for us or is this just me trying to take control again rather than leave it in His hands.

This post is about us possibly taking an additional route to having a family. Periodically (ok every day or at least every other day) I check our adoption agency's webpage to see if any new families have been added or other families removed.

When I looked last week there was a new one added but also one that was gone. My brother in law knows the couple that was off the list so I spoke with my sister to see if she knew anything about it. After actually getting in touch with the couple we found out that they adopted from a law firm in Indiana. They had been given this law firm's (Kirsh & Kirsh) name from some friends and ended up becoming a waiting family with them. A plus to this is that they could also stay a waiting family with AOI (Adoptions of Illinois). So, they have an opportunity at both places.

I emailed the husband of the couple and asked a few questions to see if this might be an option for us. He said they were waiting with AOI since August 2010 and in April 2011 decided to also try this other route. Well, they just adopted a baby boy in July 2011. So the process was around 3 months. This is amazing in adoption timelines!

Of course it sounds really great and is very tempting to jump on the bandwagon, but how do we know this is for us? How do we know this is what God wants us to do? I've prayed about it and am still a little unsure. Of course I WANT to do it because it gives us more of a chance. Now, I know this just came about the other day. Here we go back to my impatience... I know I'm not always going to get an instant answer from God but how do I sit back and possibly let an opportunity pass by? Or am I looking at this wrong? If its God's will it will happen regardless of what I do. But, I don't think that means I should just sit idly (spelling?) by either.

The cost is partly what is affecting our decision. It is more expensive and we are so close to having the money all saved if we ended up adopting through AOI. However, if we can become a waiting family with them and end up adopting through AOI we aren't out any money. We don't have to pay anything up front. So, why would we not do it? Also, adoptions with AOI seem to have slowed down a bit. In February we were looking at 5-10 adoptions a year with only 8 families. Now there are 12 families and they say they only do 3-4 adoptions a year.

Ahh..decisions! I'm planning on calling this law firm tomorrow. They have you watch some DVD and then discuss a few things before setting up anything official.

So I wonder..is this a possible opportunity God is providing or is this me just taking control and being impatient by wanting a child SO bad?