Hey all! Its been a while since my last post so I wanted to do a post on whats been going on lately. It feels like October has been flying by. The leaves have turned and the cold air is starting to set in a little more.
I like the crisp cool air of fall but the constant changing of temperature (one day hot, one day cool, etc.) gives me headaches. And I think I've had enough this fall.
Well to start with we're 6 months into our adoption wait. We started the process in March and had our home study completed in April. So, we're 6 months along. Unfortunately the agency has really slowed down in the amount of placements they have been doing so it might (most likely) end up taking longer than we had thought/hoped. I talked with our case worker this week and she said they have only shown our profile once, maybe twice. Total bummer...I know. We're trying to be patient and we know God has already picked out a child for us we just have to trust that He will strengthen us along the way.
During this last month we've looked into a few other options to see if we can increase our chances. So far, God seems to be closing all those doors. There is a website called adoptuskids.org. Anybody can go to the site and see the children that are legally up for adoption. I hadn't been on it for a couple of months and decided to check it out. These two brothers who were American Indian/Alaskan Native came up. One was 3 and the other was 2. Yes, we do want an infant but we would never turn down a child that was below the maximum age limit we would like. The information stated they pretty much required a family where one parent was Native American and part of a federally recognized tribe. Well, obviously that's not Aaron and I. I still wanted to email and get more information if I could to see if they would even consider us. I emailed got an email right back with the boys' caseworker's name and email. I emailed him and have still never heard anything back. I checked the website the day after I emailed and they were no longer on there. Hopefully they got placed with a great family.
I also got an email from a friend out of Utah with a contact name of a lady who works with Mother Goose Adoptions/Creating Christian Families. She said this lady had mentioned there were current situations of birth moms who were due relatively soon that needed families. I emailed the lady and got the password to view the situations online. Only to find out the cost on most of them is so extremely high I'm afraid we wouldn't be able to support the child once we brought it home. They were wanting anywhere in the 23,000 in some cases up to 50,000 for them JUST to place the baby with you. Then 7,000 in legal fees, anywhere from 3,000 to 8,000 in birth mom expenses. Plus, any travel expenses you would have to get the child. It was ridiculous. I emailed the lady back and said I appreciated her help but thought that was just WAY to high. Sometimes it feels like the agencies take advantage of people like us who can't biologically have our own but so deeply want one to call our own.
I've contacted other agencies and facilitators or looked online and none of them seem to be the right fit. The cost is just more than we feel comfortable with. Side Note::: When we met Amanda with ABC (our current agency) we really liked her and the program that they offered for adoption. Our chances seemed really good due to the number of placements and how many families they had. Plus, it was local and the cost was very good.
So, after those two things I've tried getting in touch with the pregnancy centers around the area. I called to see what they do if a pregnant woman comes in and wants to possibly have her child adopted. They both just said they refer them to different agencies. Agencies that we can't work with since we already have one or one that is too expensive. I asked if they kept any information of families that wanted to adopt and directed the women to them or to the supervising agency of that family. They both said no to that. I asked if they had a billboard of some kind to put a flier or brochure out with information about us and a website with where to go to see our profile. They both said no to this as well.
Definitely feeling defeated this month.
The next step was that I emailed Lutheran Social Services to check and see if we could get our foster license. Something Aaron and I have been considering for a while. Something we both feel like we want to do. As far as right at this moment...I don't know if we're ready for it yet. But, the process to becoming a foster parent takes a lot of work, time and training and education. Plus, the license lasts for four years. So, why not try to work on it while we don't have any children? Anyways, I emailed last week and never heard back so on Tuesday I called got a lady's voicemail, left a message and still haven't heard anything back.
I think I'm running out of options. I've been really praying hard that the Lord would show us His will and what He wants us to do. I wonder if I'm just being too impatient or if He has all these other options out there for us we just aren't taking advantage of them. But, when Aaron and I sit down and discuss these options it just doesn't seem smart to be so desperate that we would spend more than we feel we can or should. It doesn't seem like that is what He wants us to do. Is Him closing all the doors His answer for now? That we need to just be patient and rest in the truth that He provides according to His will. I went to bed one night last week just crying and praying over and over again that He would show us what He wants and that He would strengthen us because I'm so lost I don't know what to do.
So after we both had long weeks at work and many failed attempts at increasing our chances of adoption we skipped town. I texted Aaron Friday morning and asked if he wanted to go up to Chicago. His response was, "Sure. When and Where?" I said this weekend after I get off work and Schaumburg. After I got off work and came home we found a hotel and off we went. It was so nice to just throw stuff in the suitcase and run out the door. Saturday we went to Woodfield Mall (love that place) and shopped a bit and then had dinner at P.F. Changs. YUM! We were back in our hotel room by 7:00 and we did nothing except relax and watch t.v. until we went to bed. The next morning we checked out and headed to the Outlet Mall in Aurora to go to the COACH store!!!! Turns out they were having an additional 30% off sale so I came home with a new purse and a new wallet.
So, for now that's what is going on with us. I'm starting to look forward to the holidays coming up!! I hope you are too.
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